1
00:00:13,958 --> 00:00:15,326
* 10 *

2
00:00:15,393 --> 00:00:17,028
* 9 *

3
00:00:17,095 --> 00:00:18,496
* 8, 7 *

4
00:00:18,563 --> 00:00:20,198
* 6, 5 *

5
00:00:20,264 --> 00:00:22,000
* 4, 3, 2, 1 *

6
00:00:24,636 --> 00:00:26,738
* you're gonna
take a trip, girl *

7
00:00:26,805 --> 00:00:29,574
* so slip into something
slinky and smooth *

8
00:00:29,641 --> 00:00:30,942
* way, way out *

9
00:00:31,009 --> 00:00:32,543
* just wave
the world good-bye *

10
00:00:32,611 --> 00:00:33,945
* let's ride,
'cause, girl *

11
00:00:34,012 --> 00:00:35,747
* I got a whole
lot to prove *

12
00:00:35,814 --> 00:00:37,348
* way, way out *

13
00:00:37,415 --> 00:00:39,217
* I need to show
you I know *

14
00:00:39,283 --> 00:00:42,253
* you and me were meant
to go the whole route *

15
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:43,722
* way, way out *

16
00:00:43,788 --> 00:00:45,724
* and if you stick
with me, girl *

17
00:00:45,790 --> 00:00:48,526
* you'll see what
the game of love's all about *

18
00:00:48,593 --> 00:00:50,261
* way, way out *

19
00:00:50,328 --> 00:00:53,698
* I'm gonna put
a smile upon your face *

20
00:00:53,765 --> 00:00:57,035
* get ready now,
you better brace yourself *

21
00:00:57,101 --> 00:01:00,204
* we're gonna take
a trip in outer space *

22
00:01:00,271 --> 00:01:02,573
* fly now and
we'll pay later, girl *

23
00:01:02,641 --> 00:01:04,242
* come on, and go with me *

24
00:01:04,308 --> 00:01:07,779
* and you'll see what
the game of love's all about *

25
00:01:08,947 --> 00:01:10,581
* it's way, way out *

26
00:01:10,649 --> 00:01:12,416
* way, way out *

27
00:01:12,483 --> 00:01:13,685
* way, way out *

28
00:01:13,752 --> 00:01:15,319
* way, way out *

29
00:01:18,456 --> 00:01:20,058
* no time to pack your bag *

30
00:01:20,124 --> 00:01:23,361
* just grab my hand and
let me show you the way *

31
00:01:23,427 --> 00:01:24,763
* way, way out *

32
00:01:24,829 --> 00:01:27,165
* I've nominated
you the girl *

33
00:01:27,231 --> 00:01:29,868
* who I would like
to lead me astray *

34
00:01:29,934 --> 00:01:31,269
* way, way out *

35
00:01:31,335 --> 00:01:32,737
* I'm gonna prove to you *

36
00:01:32,804 --> 00:01:34,472
* that love is groovy *

37
00:01:34,538 --> 00:01:36,107
* so you better watch out *

38
00:01:36,174 --> 00:01:37,475
* way, way out *

39
00:01:37,541 --> 00:01:39,343
* I aim to hold you,
kiss you *

40
00:01:39,410 --> 00:01:42,380
* teach you what the game
of love's all about *

41
00:01:42,446 --> 00:01:44,282
* way, way out *

42
00:01:44,348 --> 00:01:47,351
* the moment that I
saw you in the crowd *

43
00:01:47,418 --> 00:01:50,789
* I planned to take you
into orbit, girl *

44
00:01:50,855 --> 00:01:53,892
* I'm gonna get us
lost inside a cloud *

45
00:01:53,958 --> 00:01:56,360
* 'cause that's
the only way to fly *

46
00:01:56,427 --> 00:01:59,130
* so put your trust in me
and you'll see *

47
00:01:59,197 --> 00:02:01,365
* what the game
of love's all about *

48
00:02:02,801 --> 00:02:04,468
* it's way, way out *

49
00:02:04,535 --> 00:02:06,204
* way, way out *

50
00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:07,706
* way, way out *

51
00:02:07,772 --> 00:02:09,207
* way, way out *

52
00:02:09,273 --> 00:02:10,842
* way, way out *

53
00:02:10,909 --> 00:02:12,476
* way, way out *

54
00:02:12,543 --> 00:02:13,912
* way, way out *

55
00:02:13,978 --> 00:02:15,914
* way, way out *

56
00:02:55,787 --> 00:02:57,756
This is colonel
John "shorty" powers,

57
00:02:57,822 --> 00:03:00,491
in lunar launch control.

58
00:03:00,558 --> 00:03:02,060
And this story takes place

59
00:03:02,126 --> 00:03:04,262
near the turn
of the century.

60
00:03:04,328 --> 00:03:06,497
Not the last century,

61
00:03:06,564 --> 00:03:09,233
the next century.

62
00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:13,071
Nothing very much has
happened since the 1960's.

63
00:03:14,172 --> 00:03:16,240
There is still
a united nations

64
00:03:16,307 --> 00:03:18,209
and peace in the world.

65
00:03:18,276 --> 00:03:22,180
Or at least, what we have
come to accept as peace.

66
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,302
This special
moderating committee

67
00:03:44,368 --> 00:03:45,536
of the united nations

68
00:03:45,603 --> 00:03:47,005
will now come to order.

69
00:03:47,071 --> 00:03:49,140
And the chair recognizes

70
00:03:49,207 --> 00:03:52,176
the delegate from
the Soviet union.

71
00:03:52,243 --> 00:03:53,377
Thank you.

72
00:03:54,712 --> 00:03:57,415
5 days ago,

73
00:03:57,481 --> 00:04:00,084
on October 22,

74
00:04:00,151 --> 00:04:02,286
a Russian
woman citizen

75
00:04:02,353 --> 00:04:03,754
Anna Soblova,

76
00:04:03,822 --> 00:04:06,090
who is now operating

77
00:04:06,157 --> 00:04:08,726
our weather station
on the moon,

78
00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:11,963
was fallen upon
and attacked

79
00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:14,532
without warning
by one of

80
00:04:14,598 --> 00:04:17,035
the United States
personnel,

81
00:04:17,101 --> 00:04:18,970
who is at present
operating

82
00:04:19,037 --> 00:04:21,205
the American weather
station on the moon.

83
00:04:22,706 --> 00:04:26,077
This completely
unprovoked assault,

84
00:04:26,144 --> 00:04:29,814
with deep sexual
implications,

85
00:04:29,881 --> 00:04:32,851
only failed
because of

86
00:04:32,917 --> 00:04:36,454
miss Soblova's
previous experience

87
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,190
in fighting off
attacks

88
00:04:39,257 --> 00:04:40,959
of this nature.

89
00:04:41,025 --> 00:04:42,336
The United States
government denies

90
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,896
all knowledge
of such an attack.

91
00:04:44,963 --> 00:04:46,797
And knowing
the high-type

92
00:04:46,865 --> 00:04:48,766
of the fine,
young American men

93
00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:50,034
that America has sent

94
00:04:50,101 --> 00:04:51,802
to its weather stations
on the moon,

95
00:04:51,870 --> 00:04:53,804
we feel sure
that this attack,

96
00:04:53,872 --> 00:04:55,106
if it occurred,

97
00:04:55,173 --> 00:04:57,408
must have been provoked
by the Russian citizen

98
00:04:57,475 --> 00:04:59,210
miss Anna Soblova herself!

99
00:04:59,277 --> 00:05:02,113
I charge that
this high-type

100
00:05:02,180 --> 00:05:03,948
of fine, young
American men

101
00:05:04,015 --> 00:05:06,250
are nothing but
uncontrolled

102
00:05:06,317 --> 00:05:08,887
sex offenders of
the lowest type!

103
00:05:08,953 --> 00:05:09,953
Sex offenders!

104
00:05:09,988 --> 00:05:10,988
You wanna doubt me?!

105
00:05:11,022 --> 00:05:11,923
I gave you
the facts.

106
00:05:11,990 --> 00:05:12,990
You know I'm right.

107
00:05:13,024 --> 00:05:13,925
I'll not stand
for this, sir!

108
00:05:13,992 --> 00:05:16,127
No, no, no, no, no!

109
00:05:16,194 --> 00:05:17,695
You can't close down, sir!

110
00:05:17,761 --> 00:05:18,629
All right?
I'll tell you that.

111
00:05:18,696 --> 00:05:19,964
Not one moment, sir.

112
00:05:20,031 --> 00:05:22,133
What are you? Pounding on
the table with your shoe?

113
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,601
He's got his shoes off here!

114
00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:25,203
Nyet!
Nyet! Nyet!

115
00:05:25,269 --> 00:05:27,405
Yes,
there is peace on earth,

116
00:05:27,471 --> 00:05:30,208
and great things are
happening on the moon.

117
00:05:30,274 --> 00:05:32,276
But we would be
less than honest

118
00:05:32,343 --> 00:05:34,178
if we didn't admit
that there may be

119
00:05:34,245 --> 00:05:36,080
trouble brewing up there.

120
00:05:38,983 --> 00:05:40,818
Mr. Quonset! Mr. Quonset!

121
00:05:40,885 --> 00:05:42,186
I'm not clear about
a few charges

122
00:05:42,253 --> 00:05:44,022
made at the united nations
yesterday.

123
00:05:44,088 --> 00:05:46,190
Please, please,
let me repeat.

124
00:05:46,257 --> 00:05:49,660
I have absolutely
nothing more to say

125
00:05:49,727 --> 00:05:51,662
about the outrageous
charges

126
00:05:51,729 --> 00:05:52,863
made by the Russians

127
00:05:52,931 --> 00:05:55,033
at the united nations
yesterday.

128
00:05:55,099 --> 00:05:56,834
Then you deny that
one of our boys up there

129
00:05:56,901 --> 00:05:58,212
made an attack
on that Russian girl?

130
00:05:58,236 --> 00:05:59,803
Well, of course,
I deny it.

131
00:05:59,870 --> 00:06:01,605
I know the caliber
of the men

132
00:06:01,672 --> 00:06:02,773
we send to the moon.

133
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,842
I select them myself.

134
00:06:04,909 --> 00:06:06,210
Don't they
like girls?

135
00:06:07,178 --> 00:06:08,812
She said,
"don't they like girls?"

136
00:06:08,879 --> 00:06:10,548
Naturally,
they like girls...

137
00:06:10,614 --> 00:06:12,883
With restraint!

138
00:06:12,951 --> 00:06:15,053
Let us not forget
we are talking

139
00:06:15,119 --> 00:06:16,787
about American boys.

140
00:06:18,322 --> 00:06:19,457
Now then.

141
00:06:19,523 --> 00:06:21,960
As to the reason for
calling this conference.

142
00:06:22,026 --> 00:06:23,194
As you know,

143
00:06:23,261 --> 00:06:26,264
ever since our lunar
station was established,

144
00:06:26,330 --> 00:06:28,799
it has been our policy
to send up 2 men.

145
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:31,302
A weathernaut
and an astronomer.

146
00:06:31,369 --> 00:06:34,372
From now on, for reasons
best known to ourselves,

147
00:06:34,438 --> 00:06:36,740
we have decided that
the team shall consist

148
00:06:36,807 --> 00:06:39,177
of a male weathernaut

149
00:06:39,243 --> 00:06:41,879
and a fully-qualified
female astronomer.

150
00:06:41,946 --> 00:06:42,880
Mr. Quonset?

151
00:06:42,947 --> 00:06:44,048
Mm-hmm?

152
00:06:44,115 --> 00:06:45,525
Do you mean to say
they're going to send

153
00:06:45,549 --> 00:06:46,584
a man and woman up there

154
00:06:46,650 --> 00:06:48,852
to spend a year on the moon,
alone, together?

155
00:06:48,919 --> 00:06:51,189
Not a woman, a wife.

156
00:06:51,255 --> 00:06:52,690
There's a big difference

157
00:06:52,756 --> 00:06:54,225
between the two,
you know.

158
00:06:54,292 --> 00:06:55,893
When was all this decided?

159
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,228
Yesterday?

160
00:06:57,295 --> 00:06:58,829
This has nothing
whatever to do

161
00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:00,398
with anything that
happened yesterday.

162
00:07:00,464 --> 00:07:03,434
This decision was
taken some months ago.

163
00:07:03,501 --> 00:07:05,536
Why? Is something
happening up there

164
00:07:05,603 --> 00:07:06,937
that we don't know about?

165
00:07:07,005 --> 00:07:09,273
What could be
happening on the moon?

166
00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:12,276
The moon is a lonely,
desolate post.

167
00:07:12,343 --> 00:07:14,245
Naturally, certain
difficulties arise

168
00:07:14,312 --> 00:07:15,746
when men are
subjected

169
00:07:15,813 --> 00:07:17,215
to those kinds
of stresses.

170
00:07:17,281 --> 00:07:19,250
What stresses?

171
00:07:19,317 --> 00:07:21,552
Personality
disarrangement,

172
00:07:21,619 --> 00:07:22,953
deep
depressions,

173
00:07:23,021 --> 00:07:24,021
the sort
of friction

174
00:07:24,055 --> 00:07:25,089
which naturally
develops

175
00:07:25,156 --> 00:07:26,924
between 2 men
who have nothing

176
00:07:26,991 --> 00:07:27,992
but each other
for company

177
00:07:28,059 --> 00:07:29,593
for an entire year.

178
00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:31,429
To be quite frank,

179
00:07:31,495 --> 00:07:33,797
the 2 men we have
up there now

180
00:07:33,864 --> 00:07:36,034
have tried to...

181
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:37,835
Have tried to do
away with each other

182
00:07:37,901 --> 00:07:41,205
3 times in
the last 4 months.

183
00:07:41,272 --> 00:07:43,407
Where do you plan on
finding a weathernaut

184
00:07:43,474 --> 00:07:45,509
who's gonna fall
in love with and marry

185
00:07:45,576 --> 00:07:46,576
a female astronomer?

186
00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:48,912
It so happens that
we have already found

187
00:07:48,979 --> 00:07:50,181
just such a couple.

188
00:07:50,248 --> 00:07:51,815
At about the same time

189
00:07:51,882 --> 00:07:53,017
as our decision
was made,

190
00:07:53,084 --> 00:07:55,519
it came to our notice
that a young weathernaut

191
00:07:55,586 --> 00:07:57,321
had fallen in love
with one of our girls

192
00:07:57,388 --> 00:07:59,157
from the national
space agency.

193
00:07:59,223 --> 00:08:00,858
They have just returned

194
00:08:00,924 --> 00:08:03,727
from a blissful
3-weeks honeymoon.

195
00:08:03,794 --> 00:08:05,029
Do we get their names?

196
00:08:05,096 --> 00:08:06,730
You'll get
better than that.

197
00:08:06,797 --> 00:08:07,998
At this time,

198
00:08:08,066 --> 00:08:10,368
I plan to introduce
you to...

199
00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:22,180
As I was saying,

200
00:08:22,246 --> 00:08:25,116
at this time, we plan...

201
00:08:30,854 --> 00:08:32,556
Forgive me one moment.

202
00:08:34,725 --> 00:08:35,793
What is it,
Ponsonby?

203
00:08:35,859 --> 00:08:36,794
It's terrible.

204
00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:37,795
What's terrible?

205
00:08:37,861 --> 00:08:39,029
Yes, sir.

206
00:08:39,097 --> 00:08:40,998
That ends the press
conference for today.

207
00:08:41,065 --> 00:08:41,932
Ponsonby!

208
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:43,134
Yes, sir?

209
00:08:43,201 --> 00:08:44,835
What the hell
do you think you're up to?

210
00:08:44,902 --> 00:08:46,804
I'm afraid
the fertilizer

211
00:08:46,870 --> 00:08:48,339
has hit
the ventilator, sir.

212
00:08:48,406 --> 00:08:50,040
What are you talking about?

213
00:08:50,108 --> 00:08:52,042
The newlyweds!

214
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:53,377
You're in for
a terrible shock.

215
00:08:54,412 --> 00:08:56,747
Ted, you overgrown
pipsqueak, you!

216
00:08:56,814 --> 00:08:58,149
Please, listen.

217
00:08:58,216 --> 00:09:00,551
No, you listen!

218
00:09:00,618 --> 00:09:01,785
No! No! Not that!

219
00:09:01,852 --> 00:09:02,852
Put it down, dear.

220
00:09:02,886 --> 00:09:05,189
Give it to me.
There. Ha ha.

221
00:09:05,256 --> 00:09:06,957
Good heavens,
what is this?

222
00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:09,127
Our first little
lovers' quarrel?

223
00:09:09,193 --> 00:09:10,261
We can't have that.

224
00:09:10,328 --> 00:09:11,471
It's much too early
in the day.

225
00:09:11,495 --> 00:09:12,730
The whole thing's

226
00:09:12,796 --> 00:09:14,232
blown up in our faces, sir.

227
00:09:14,298 --> 00:09:15,933
She doesn't want
to go to the moon.

228
00:09:15,999 --> 00:09:17,034
To the moon?

229
00:09:17,101 --> 00:09:18,736
Mr. Quonset,
I wouldn't go

230
00:09:18,802 --> 00:09:19,670
to the corner
drug store

231
00:09:19,737 --> 00:09:21,505
with that miserable
excuse for a man.

232
00:09:21,572 --> 00:09:22,406
What's wrong?

233
00:09:22,473 --> 00:09:24,142
Did something happen
on the honeymoon?

234
00:09:24,208 --> 00:09:25,543
Did something happen?

235
00:09:25,609 --> 00:09:28,346
Well, we saw a lot
of daytime television,

236
00:09:28,412 --> 00:09:29,723
and we went
to the saltwater plunge

237
00:09:29,747 --> 00:09:30,747
every afternoon.

238
00:09:30,781 --> 00:09:32,283
If you don't shut up...

239
00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:34,185
Oh, yes, and he was
on the phone to his mother

240
00:09:34,252 --> 00:09:35,486
at least 2 or 3 times a day.

241
00:09:35,553 --> 00:09:37,621
What's wrong with
calling my mother?

242
00:09:37,688 --> 00:09:40,090
I know her a lot
better than I know you.

243
00:09:40,158 --> 00:09:41,792
What were you
calling her for?

244
00:09:41,859 --> 00:09:42,893
Instructions?

245
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:43,894
Now you listen to me...

246
00:09:43,961 --> 00:09:44,895
Now, now, now,
children.

247
00:09:44,962 --> 00:09:45,863
I expect you're
both of you

248
00:09:45,929 --> 00:09:47,465
a little bit
overtired.

249
00:09:47,531 --> 00:09:49,133
From what?

250
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,968
Well, nobody's
honeymoon

251
00:09:51,034 --> 00:09:52,102
goes smoothly,
you know.

252
00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:53,170
Good heavens.

253
00:09:53,204 --> 00:09:54,205
I wouldn't
go through

254
00:09:54,272 --> 00:09:55,272
my honeymoon again

255
00:09:55,306 --> 00:09:58,108
with Mrs. Quonset
for...

256
00:09:58,176 --> 00:09:59,577
You'll soon warm
to each other

257
00:09:59,643 --> 00:10:00,444
on the moon.

258
00:10:00,511 --> 00:10:02,980
You've got a whole
year together.

259
00:10:03,046 --> 00:10:04,482
Forget it.

260
00:10:04,548 --> 00:10:05,816
Forget it?
My dear child,

261
00:10:05,883 --> 00:10:06,784
you're due
to lift off

262
00:10:06,850 --> 00:10:08,018
in under 3 days.

263
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:10,654
I'm lifting off right now!

264
00:10:10,721 --> 00:10:11,555
Oh!

265
00:10:11,622 --> 00:10:13,691
What a girl.
What an awful girl.

266
00:10:13,757 --> 00:10:15,034
My mother said,
right from the beginning...

267
00:10:15,058 --> 00:10:16,059
Never mind what

268
00:10:16,126 --> 00:10:17,695
your lousy mother
said.

269
00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:18,762
Go after her.

270
00:10:18,829 --> 00:10:20,130
Go after her?

271
00:10:20,198 --> 00:10:23,334
I never wanna see her again
as long as I live.

272
00:10:23,401 --> 00:10:24,635
Do you realize
the position

273
00:10:24,702 --> 00:10:25,812
you're putting
this country in,

274
00:10:25,836 --> 00:10:26,870
you idiot?

275
00:10:26,937 --> 00:10:29,173
You should have seen
some of the things she did.

276
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,675
And heard some of
the things she wanted to do.

277
00:10:31,742 --> 00:10:34,445
Do you think those
poor, half-crazed mutts

278
00:10:34,512 --> 00:10:35,946
stumbling around
on the moon

279
00:10:36,013 --> 00:10:37,248
care what your wife did

280
00:10:37,315 --> 00:10:39,116
on your piddling
little honeymoon?

281
00:10:39,183 --> 00:10:41,018
They are due to be
relieved in 6 days,

282
00:10:41,084 --> 00:10:42,253
and I will not
be responsible

283
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,288
if they have to wait
a moment longer.

284
00:10:44,355 --> 00:10:46,824
Well, I certainly can see
your predicament, sir...

285
00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:48,125
This isn't
a predicament!

286
00:10:48,192 --> 00:10:50,060
This is a national
disaster, you bungler!

287
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:51,127
We haven't another

288
00:10:51,161 --> 00:10:53,464
trained married couple
available!

289
00:10:53,531 --> 00:10:55,599
Well, uh, mother had
an awfully good suggestion

290
00:10:55,666 --> 00:10:56,600
when I...

291
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:57,735
Get out!

292
00:10:57,801 --> 00:10:59,603
Take your mother and...

293
00:11:00,704 --> 00:11:02,139
Get out.

294
00:11:02,206 --> 00:11:03,507
Yes, sir.

295
00:11:05,209 --> 00:11:06,143
Sir...

296
00:11:06,210 --> 00:11:07,445
Aah! Get out!

297
00:11:10,681 --> 00:11:12,015
Well...

298
00:11:12,082 --> 00:11:14,051
What do we do now?

299
00:11:14,117 --> 00:11:16,987
My neck is out
10 miles on this thing.

300
00:11:17,054 --> 00:11:18,356
Maybe we should've listened

301
00:11:18,422 --> 00:11:20,524
to that advice
of his mother's, sir.

302
00:11:21,492 --> 00:11:24,061
Don't you try and
be funny, Ponsonby.

303
00:11:24,127 --> 00:11:26,230
On the top of everything
that's happened,

304
00:11:26,297 --> 00:11:29,733
don't you try
and be funny.

305
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,335
Well?

306
00:11:31,402 --> 00:11:33,937
Who's next
on the list to go?

307
00:11:42,212 --> 00:11:44,748
Who's Robertson’s
backup?

308
00:11:44,815 --> 00:11:46,650
Mattemore.

309
00:11:47,685 --> 00:11:48,719
Who?

310
00:11:48,786 --> 00:11:50,087
Mattemore.

311
00:11:50,153 --> 00:11:52,222
Peter Mattemore.

312
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:54,592
Is he still around?

313
00:11:54,658 --> 00:11:55,926
Yes, sir.

314
00:11:55,993 --> 00:11:57,961
And he's next in line?

315
00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:02,300
Well,

316
00:12:02,366 --> 00:12:03,634
where is he?

317
00:12:03,701 --> 00:12:06,904
Well, he's at
the centrifuge today.

318
00:12:06,970 --> 00:12:08,306
Well, get him
out of there.

319
00:12:08,372 --> 00:12:10,107
Yes, sir.

320
00:12:10,173 --> 00:12:12,710
Uh, the button, sir, please.

321
00:12:13,677 --> 00:12:16,580
Get him into my office
right away!

322
00:12:16,647 --> 00:12:17,715
Yes, sir.

323
00:13:10,468 --> 00:13:12,370
Pull yourself together,
Mattemore.

324
00:13:22,413 --> 00:13:24,582
Oh, Mattemore, this way.

325
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:30,654
Hello?

326
00:13:30,721 --> 00:13:32,590
Hello. Mr. Quonset?

327
00:13:33,824 --> 00:13:35,058
Hello?

328
00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:36,125
Hello?

329
00:13:36,159 --> 00:13:37,159
Late.

330
00:13:39,062 --> 00:13:39,997
What's going on?

331
00:13:40,063 --> 00:13:41,231
I don't know, I...

332
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:42,538
I got him out
of the centrifuge,

333
00:13:42,566 --> 00:13:44,835
and... and there it was.

334
00:13:50,874 --> 00:13:51,675
Does that thing

335
00:13:51,742 --> 00:13:53,243
always affect
you like this?

336
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:54,311
No.

337
00:13:54,378 --> 00:13:55,546
O-only when it turns.

338
00:13:55,613 --> 00:13:56,880
Only... when it...

339
00:13:56,947 --> 00:13:59,750
Well, the way rumors
fly around here,

340
00:13:59,817 --> 00:14:02,152
no doubt you heard
the bad news.

341
00:14:02,219 --> 00:14:04,321
Oh. Oh, you mean
about the couple

342
00:14:04,388 --> 00:14:05,389
not going to the moon?

343
00:14:05,456 --> 00:14:06,624
Oh, y-yes, sir.
I did heard.

344
00:14:06,690 --> 00:14:08,158
And since you're
the backup man,

345
00:14:08,225 --> 00:14:09,225
you know that
you're next

346
00:14:09,259 --> 00:14:10,994
to leave for the moon
on Thursday.

347
00:14:12,029 --> 00:14:13,531
Me?!

348
00:14:13,597 --> 00:14:15,733
Yes, you, Mattemore.
And this time,

349
00:14:15,799 --> 00:14:18,201
you are not going
to weasel out of it.

350
00:14:18,268 --> 00:14:19,269
Oh, well... well,

351
00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:20,804
I never weaseled out
of it, sir...

352
00:14:20,871 --> 00:14:23,173
Mattemore, you've
been in training now

353
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:24,174
for 11 years.

354
00:14:24,241 --> 00:14:25,409
Each time your name

355
00:14:25,476 --> 00:14:26,944
came up to the top
of the list,

356
00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:27,778
you have done everything

357
00:14:27,845 --> 00:14:29,513
short of turning
yourself inside out

358
00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:31,348
to keep yourself
from going.

359
00:14:31,415 --> 00:14:33,083
Well, I wouldn't exactly...

360
00:14:33,150 --> 00:14:34,217
Meanwhile, Mattemore,

361
00:14:34,284 --> 00:14:35,395
you have been using
your position

362
00:14:35,419 --> 00:14:37,521
as a weathernaut
to cash in

363
00:14:37,588 --> 00:14:39,890
on the women's club
lecture circuit.

364
00:14:39,957 --> 00:14:41,334
Well, I wouldn't
exactly say cash in.

365
00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:42,526
I made a couple...

366
00:14:42,593 --> 00:14:44,795
Well, that's all behind
you now, Mattemore.

367
00:14:44,862 --> 00:14:47,264
But... don't you want me
to light this for you, sir?

368
00:14:47,330 --> 00:14:48,732
I don't smoke.

369
00:14:49,733 --> 00:14:51,802
Oh. Well,
I think that, uh...

370
00:14:51,869 --> 00:14:55,005
You're going
to the moon in 3 days.

371
00:14:55,072 --> 00:14:56,239
Well, well, sir, please,

372
00:14:56,306 --> 00:14:58,308
if I may just point out,
you know,

373
00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:00,811
I am the oldest
weathernaut here now.

374
00:15:00,878 --> 00:15:02,379
You were the oldest
weathernaut

375
00:15:02,446 --> 00:15:03,623
when you started
your training.

376
00:15:03,647 --> 00:15:05,449
Oh, yes, so I was.

377
00:15:05,516 --> 00:15:06,750
But, well, you see,

378
00:15:06,817 --> 00:15:08,385
I had plans for the weekend,

379
00:15:08,452 --> 00:15:09,596
and I don't know what
to do about them.

380
00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:12,222
I was going paddle boarding
at lake Okefenokee

381
00:15:12,289 --> 00:15:13,824
with Stella
Mary Oglemeyer...

382
00:15:13,891 --> 00:15:16,126
Here, I'll tell you what
it does to your plans.

383
00:15:16,193 --> 00:15:17,394
Cancels them.

384
00:15:17,461 --> 00:15:20,230
Cancels Stella
Mary Oglemeyer?

385
00:15:20,297 --> 00:15:21,865
Why, we're as good
as engaged, sir!

386
00:15:21,932 --> 00:15:23,567
You're leaving
for the moon, Mattemore.

387
00:15:23,634 --> 00:15:25,469
And that's that.

388
00:15:25,536 --> 00:15:27,037
Stella Mary Oglemeyer?

389
00:15:27,104 --> 00:15:28,104
Yes, sir.

390
00:15:29,940 --> 00:15:32,876
Mattemore, how many
girls do you know

391
00:15:32,943 --> 00:15:35,178
who have the necessary
space training

392
00:15:35,245 --> 00:15:36,647
and a graduate degree

393
00:15:36,714 --> 00:15:39,349
in geology and astronomy?

394
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:40,856
Oh, well, the only
girls I know, sir,

395
00:15:40,918 --> 00:15:42,953
didn't even finish
high school. Why?

396
00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,888
You have exactly 3 days,
Mattemore,

397
00:15:44,955 --> 00:15:47,057
to find a girl with
those qualifications

398
00:15:47,124 --> 00:15:48,258
and marry her.

399
00:15:48,325 --> 00:15:49,893
3 days?

400
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,261
3 days.

401
00:15:51,328 --> 00:15:52,563
3 days.

402
00:15:52,630 --> 00:15:54,464
Sir, I don't believe
there are 10 girls

403
00:15:54,532 --> 00:15:55,599
in the entire world

404
00:15:55,666 --> 00:15:56,867
that meet those
qualifications.

405
00:15:56,934 --> 00:15:58,368
It so happens that
we have 3 of them

406
00:15:58,435 --> 00:16:00,638
at the space agency
right now.

407
00:16:00,704 --> 00:16:02,239
Ponsonby has done
a rundown on them,

408
00:16:02,305 --> 00:16:03,206
haven't you, Ponsonby?

409
00:16:03,273 --> 00:16:04,474
Yes, sir.

410
00:16:04,542 --> 00:16:05,543
Right here, sir. I've...

411
00:16:05,609 --> 00:16:06,910
I'd like
to see that.

412
00:16:06,977 --> 00:16:07,811
Here we are.

413
00:16:07,878 --> 00:16:09,222
Here are some of
the pictures of them

414
00:16:09,246 --> 00:16:10,714
I managed to get hold of.

415
00:16:10,781 --> 00:16:12,683
Yes.

416
00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:14,585
This is Mary Jane Saunders.

417
00:16:14,652 --> 00:16:16,620
Hey, she's
not bad.

418
00:16:16,687 --> 00:16:18,221
Unfortunately,
she's already married.

419
00:16:20,090 --> 00:16:21,925
Miss Esther Davenport,

420
00:16:21,992 --> 00:16:23,527
34, unmarried.

421
00:16:23,594 --> 00:16:24,628
Figures.

422
00:16:24,695 --> 00:16:26,329
She's qualified
in every way.

423
00:16:26,396 --> 00:16:28,832
Could we go on?

424
00:16:28,899 --> 00:16:29,967
What's the matter
with her?

425
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:30,868
Oh, nothing at all.

426
00:16:30,934 --> 00:16:32,670
At least,
nothing that I know of.

427
00:16:32,736 --> 00:16:34,572
Eileen Forbes.
It is between this one,

428
00:16:34,638 --> 00:16:35,773
and number 2.

429
00:16:37,941 --> 00:16:39,810
Well, let's just
say this one.

430
00:16:39,877 --> 00:16:41,111
Get onto this
right away.

431
00:16:41,178 --> 00:16:43,113
I want miss Forbes
in my office at 4:30.

432
00:16:43,180 --> 00:16:44,180
Yes, sir.

433
00:16:45,448 --> 00:16:46,349
I don't know
anything

434
00:16:46,416 --> 00:16:47,517
about her really.

435
00:16:47,585 --> 00:16:48,852
Well, what
is there to know?

436
00:16:48,919 --> 00:16:50,096
She's a girl,
and you picked her out,

437
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,188
didn't you?

438
00:16:51,254 --> 00:16:52,723
Uh, yes, sir, I did.

439
00:16:52,790 --> 00:16:54,157
But, uh, what I mean is,

440
00:16:54,224 --> 00:16:55,492
that is, uh...

441
00:16:55,559 --> 00:16:57,327
I don't know
that she'd like me.

442
00:16:57,394 --> 00:17:00,497
Well, you've got 3 days
to make her change her mind.

443
00:17:00,564 --> 00:17:01,965
That shouldn't be a problem

444
00:17:02,032 --> 00:17:04,534
for a man
with your reputation.

445
00:17:05,603 --> 00:17:07,370
Reputation?

446
00:17:07,437 --> 00:17:08,606
What reputation?

447
00:17:08,672 --> 00:17:10,674
Don't be coy, Mattemore.

448
00:17:10,741 --> 00:17:12,676
You have a rotten
reputation with women.

449
00:17:12,743 --> 00:17:14,511
Everyone on the base
is always saying

450
00:17:14,578 --> 00:17:16,647
what a rotten reputation
you have.

451
00:17:16,714 --> 00:17:17,581
Well, that
might be so, sir,

452
00:17:17,648 --> 00:17:18,782
but in actuality...

453
00:17:18,849 --> 00:17:21,585
The country is depending
on you, Mattemore.

454
00:17:21,652 --> 00:17:25,789
Well, I mean, what else
can the country do?

455
00:17:25,856 --> 00:17:27,725
We're stuck
with you, aren't we?

456
00:17:30,728 --> 00:17:32,696
Are you sure?

457
00:17:32,763 --> 00:17:34,665
I mean, are you
gentlemen sure

458
00:17:34,732 --> 00:17:35,933
that you have
the right girl?

459
00:17:35,999 --> 00:17:38,335
I don't even
know this man.

460
00:17:38,401 --> 00:17:39,803
I know that, miss Forbes.

461
00:17:39,870 --> 00:17:41,605
But due to the nature
of the emergency...

462
00:17:41,672 --> 00:17:42,673
I'm well aware of

463
00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:44,608
the emergency,
Mr. Quonset.

464
00:17:44,675 --> 00:17:46,076
And as much as
I'd appreciate

465
00:17:46,143 --> 00:17:47,978
the scientific
opportunity involved

466
00:17:48,045 --> 00:17:49,947
in spending a year
on the moon,

467
00:17:50,013 --> 00:17:53,116
the idea of marrying
a complete stranger...

468
00:17:53,183 --> 00:17:56,419
Uh, oh, yes.
I think she's right, sir.

469
00:17:56,486 --> 00:17:58,355
I mean, it's
the marriage business

470
00:17:58,421 --> 00:18:00,223
that's
fouling up everything.

471
00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:02,492
I mean, miss Forbes and I
are just scientists

472
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:04,261
off for a year's
scientific expedition.

473
00:18:04,327 --> 00:18:08,231
And why clutter it with
a lot of marriage talk?

474
00:18:08,298 --> 00:18:09,633
That's not
exactly

475
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:11,101
what I had
in mind either.

476
00:18:11,168 --> 00:18:12,168
Mattemore!

477
00:18:12,202 --> 00:18:14,705
You seem to forget that
unlike the Russians

478
00:18:14,772 --> 00:18:16,606
we're a very
religious nation.

479
00:18:16,674 --> 00:18:18,408
The country would
never stand for

480
00:18:18,475 --> 00:18:20,443
a lot unlicensed,
slap and grapple

481
00:18:20,510 --> 00:18:22,445
smackey-mouth
on the moon.

482
00:18:22,512 --> 00:18:24,281
It is not
the idea

483
00:18:24,347 --> 00:18:25,582
of marriage
I object to.

484
00:18:25,649 --> 00:18:26,583
Oh, good.

485
00:18:26,650 --> 00:18:27,685
It is the idea

486
00:18:27,751 --> 00:18:28,786
of being
forced into it

487
00:18:28,852 --> 00:18:30,487
with someone
I don't even know!

488
00:18:30,553 --> 00:18:33,423
It's a little cut
and dried for me.

489
00:18:33,490 --> 00:18:35,125
As if I'd been
selected from

490
00:18:35,192 --> 00:18:37,695
a picture in some
breeders' guide.

491
00:18:39,730 --> 00:18:41,064
By the way,

492
00:18:41,131 --> 00:18:43,734
how did I happen
to be chosen?

493
00:18:43,801 --> 00:18:45,803
Oh, well, I, uh,

494
00:18:45,869 --> 00:18:47,938
I just happened to see
your picture and I...

495
00:18:48,005 --> 00:18:49,206
You know,
from that moment on,

496
00:18:49,272 --> 00:18:51,108
he was a changed man!

497
00:18:51,174 --> 00:18:53,610
He kept running around,
yelling, this is the girl

498
00:18:53,677 --> 00:18:54,954
I've been looking for
all my life!

499
00:18:54,978 --> 00:18:56,646
I have to go
to the moon with her!

500
00:18:56,714 --> 00:18:57,915
I just have to!

501
00:18:57,981 --> 00:18:58,982
Isn't that what you were

502
00:18:59,049 --> 00:19:00,784
running around yelling,
Mattemore?

503
00:19:00,851 --> 00:19:02,686
Well, that may not
be exactly...

504
00:19:02,753 --> 00:19:04,421
Those were
your exact words!

505
00:19:04,487 --> 00:19:05,856
I remember them very well.

506
00:19:05,923 --> 00:19:07,624
Yes, they were...
My words.

507
00:19:07,691 --> 00:19:09,326
This is really
very flattering,

508
00:19:09,392 --> 00:19:10,493
gentlemen,
but, uh,

509
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,628
when
the magic moment

510
00:19:11,695 --> 00:19:12,896
finally comes,
for me,

511
00:19:12,963 --> 00:19:13,964
it'll be
with a man

512
00:19:14,031 --> 00:19:15,232
I've fallen
in love with.

513
00:19:15,298 --> 00:19:17,801
Yes, but we haven't time
for all that nonsense.

514
00:19:17,868 --> 00:19:20,137
You see, the moon is in
exactly the right position

515
00:19:20,203 --> 00:19:21,338
3 days from now.

516
00:19:21,404 --> 00:19:22,639
And lift-off
is scheduled

517
00:19:22,706 --> 00:19:25,108
for precisely
0500 hours

518
00:19:25,175 --> 00:19:26,243
that morning.

519
00:19:26,309 --> 00:19:27,610
I, on the other hand,

520
00:19:27,677 --> 00:19:29,379
will not be in exactly
the right position

521
00:19:29,446 --> 00:19:31,514
at 0500 hours
that morning.

522
00:19:31,581 --> 00:19:33,183
If only I could get
across to you

523
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:35,753
how desperate this
emergency really is.

524
00:19:35,819 --> 00:19:37,320
Ponsonby!

525
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,323
I'm... sorry...

526
00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:41,591
Ponsonby!

527
00:19:45,462 --> 00:19:46,463
Ponsonby...

528
00:19:46,529 --> 00:19:47,931
Sorry, sir. The lamp.

529
00:19:47,998 --> 00:19:49,066
Oh, never mind the lamp.

530
00:19:49,132 --> 00:19:50,652
Let me know as soon
as we start getting

531
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:52,178
our afternoon weather
reports from the moon.

532
00:19:52,202 --> 00:19:53,346
We're getting them
right now, sir.

533
00:19:53,370 --> 00:19:54,571
Fine.

534
00:19:54,637 --> 00:19:55,906
I wouldn't advise
that, sir.

535
00:19:55,973 --> 00:19:57,474
That's all right,
Ponsonby.

536
00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:58,942
But things
have deteriorated

537
00:19:59,009 --> 00:20:00,009
even since yesterday.

538
00:20:00,043 --> 00:20:02,913
I said, that was
all right, Ponsonby.

539
00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:06,649
Uhh... I had about
enough of this, Hoffman.

540
00:20:06,716 --> 00:20:09,452
Shut up!
I'm warning you!

541
00:20:09,519 --> 00:20:10,754
Shut up!

542
00:20:10,821 --> 00:20:12,389
Schmidlapp.

543
00:20:12,455 --> 00:20:13,957
Schmidlapp!

544
00:20:14,024 --> 00:20:16,559
This is Mr. Quonset
from cape Kennedy.

545
00:20:16,626 --> 00:20:19,196
You dope, Quonset.

546
00:20:19,262 --> 00:20:20,262
Shut up!

547
00:20:20,297 --> 00:20:24,101
Just keep your big,
fat, ugly mouth shut!

548
00:20:24,167 --> 00:20:25,602
Blah! Uh!

549
00:20:25,668 --> 00:20:27,104
I can't take it anymore.

550
00:20:27,170 --> 00:20:28,939
I've been telling
you for weeks.

551
00:20:29,006 --> 00:20:32,509
I-I can't stand it anymore!

552
00:20:32,575 --> 00:20:33,777
Easy, boy, there.

553
00:20:34,878 --> 00:20:36,613
Hour after hour,

554
00:20:36,679 --> 00:20:39,082
day after day,
week after week.

555
00:20:39,149 --> 00:20:40,884
Pull yourself
together, man!

556
00:20:40,951 --> 00:20:42,752
What happened
to your teeth?

557
00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,030
What do you think
happened to 'em?

558
00:20:44,054 --> 00:20:45,522
Schmidlapp
knocked 'em out.

559
00:20:45,588 --> 00:20:47,124
I-I said,
good morning to him,

560
00:20:47,190 --> 00:20:49,292
and he knocked
my teeth out.

561
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:50,627
Where is he now?

562
00:20:50,693 --> 00:20:52,629
Right where
he always is.

563
00:20:52,695 --> 00:20:55,732
He's sitting over there,
staring at me.

564
00:20:56,967 --> 00:20:58,735
I can't stand
his horrible

565
00:20:58,802 --> 00:21:00,804
dead eyes any longer.

566
00:21:00,871 --> 00:21:03,206
Now listen to me.
Never mind about Schmidlapp.

567
00:21:03,273 --> 00:21:06,009
You're due to be
relieved in a few days.

568
00:21:06,076 --> 00:21:08,478
I'll never last
that long.

569
00:21:08,545 --> 00:21:10,147
Sad, isn't it?

570
00:21:10,213 --> 00:21:13,851
And those horrible,
burning eyes of his.

571
00:21:14,784 --> 00:21:16,286
Hang on, man! Hang on!

572
00:21:16,353 --> 00:21:18,421
It's nearly over now.

573
00:21:28,731 --> 00:21:31,134
I don't think this is fair,
Mr. Quonset.

574
00:21:31,201 --> 00:21:32,769
You're trying
to make this all seem

575
00:21:32,836 --> 00:21:34,737
as if it were my personal
responsibility.

576
00:21:34,804 --> 00:21:36,173
Well, isn't it,
in a way?

577
00:21:36,239 --> 00:21:38,175
No! You picked my picture
out of some file

578
00:21:38,241 --> 00:21:40,010
and all of a sudden
I'm responsible

579
00:21:40,077 --> 00:21:42,012
for the whole moon project.

580
00:21:42,079 --> 00:21:45,782
Even if Mr. Mattemore's
sanity is at stake,

581
00:21:45,849 --> 00:21:47,217
I resent being asked
to go up there

582
00:21:47,284 --> 00:21:50,020
for the sole purpose
of his masculine needs.

583
00:21:50,087 --> 00:21:51,164
That's not true.

584
00:21:51,188 --> 00:21:52,522
You're being
sent up there

585
00:21:52,589 --> 00:21:54,624
as part of
a scientific team.

586
00:21:54,691 --> 00:21:56,826
Scientific team. Ha!

587
00:21:56,894 --> 00:21:58,896
The only reason I'm being
asked to go up there

588
00:21:58,962 --> 00:22:00,230
is because I happen
to be built

589
00:22:00,297 --> 00:22:01,965
a little differently
than Mr. Mattemore.

590
00:22:02,032 --> 00:22:03,166
It works better that way.

591
00:22:03,233 --> 00:22:05,168
Any girl would
serve the purpose.

592
00:22:06,803 --> 00:22:07,905
Hold it a minute.

593
00:22:07,971 --> 00:22:11,108
I haven't had a chance
to say 2 words.

594
00:22:11,174 --> 00:22:12,943
Now how do you know
you wouldn't like me

595
00:22:13,010 --> 00:22:14,744
if you got to know me
a little better?

596
00:22:14,811 --> 00:22:16,313
I didn't say
I didn't like you.

597
00:22:16,379 --> 00:22:18,048
And how can you expect
anything to happen

598
00:22:18,115 --> 00:22:20,550
in a barren, cold office
in broad daylight?

599
00:22:20,617 --> 00:22:22,552
I think we should have
dinner together tonight.

600
00:22:22,619 --> 00:22:23,653
I don't see any reason...

601
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,188
Miss Forbes,
I am not suggesting

602
00:22:25,255 --> 00:22:26,957
any wild weekend
in the mountains.

603
00:22:27,024 --> 00:22:28,025
I am only saying that

604
00:22:28,091 --> 00:22:29,359
we should have
dinner together.

605
00:22:30,894 --> 00:22:31,894
All right,
Mr. Mattemore.

606
00:22:31,929 --> 00:22:33,063
We'll have dinner.

607
00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:34,998
I don't see how it's
gonna help anything,

608
00:22:35,065 --> 00:22:36,733
but if it'll
make you happy.

609
00:22:36,799 --> 00:22:38,635
Shall we say about 9:00?

610
00:22:38,701 --> 00:22:39,602
9:00 is fine.

611
00:22:39,669 --> 00:22:41,038
Fine.

612
00:22:44,674 --> 00:22:46,009
You're dead, Mattemore.

613
00:22:46,076 --> 00:22:47,544
You haven't got
a chance with her.

614
00:22:47,610 --> 00:22:49,146
How do you know?

615
00:22:49,212 --> 00:22:51,114
I could tell the moment
she walked in.

616
00:22:51,181 --> 00:22:53,783
She can't stand
the sight of you.

617
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:56,653
Since when are you
such an expert, sir?

618
00:22:56,719 --> 00:22:58,055
These things
are chemical.

619
00:22:58,121 --> 00:22:59,722
I happen to be rather
sensitive to them.

620
00:22:59,789 --> 00:23:00,790
Believe me, Mattemore,

621
00:23:00,857 --> 00:23:02,392
I could feel
her dislike for you,

622
00:23:02,459 --> 00:23:04,561
even before
you opened your mouth.

623
00:23:04,627 --> 00:23:05,728
I'd just like to know

624
00:23:05,795 --> 00:23:06,997
where you got
that big deal,

625
00:23:07,064 --> 00:23:08,798
rotten reputation
with women from.

626
00:23:08,865 --> 00:23:10,733
I didn't say
I had a big deal,

627
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:11,844
rotten reputation
with women.

628
00:23:11,868 --> 00:23:13,003
You said I had a big deal,

629
00:23:13,070 --> 00:23:14,637
rotten reputation
with women.

630
00:23:14,704 --> 00:23:15,838
Well, if you
take my advice,

631
00:23:15,905 --> 00:23:17,583
you'll write miss Forbes
off as a dead loss,

632
00:23:17,607 --> 00:23:19,218
and get on the telephone
to that other girl.

633
00:23:19,242 --> 00:23:21,278
What was her name?
Esther Davenport.

634
00:23:21,344 --> 00:23:22,445
Just a minute,
Mr. Quonset,

635
00:23:22,512 --> 00:23:24,047
I've got something
to say about this.

636
00:23:24,114 --> 00:23:25,983
Something,
but not very much.

637
00:23:26,049 --> 00:23:28,018
What's the matter
with miss Davenport?

638
00:23:28,085 --> 00:23:30,087
She fills all
our qualifications.

639
00:23:30,153 --> 00:23:32,489
Maybe so, but she doesn't
fill my qualifications.

640
00:23:32,555 --> 00:23:34,924
Moreover, she doesn't
even fill her own blouse!

641
00:23:42,832 --> 00:23:44,634
Hello, Peter. Uhh!

642
00:23:44,701 --> 00:23:45,969
Oh, hi, fern.

643
00:23:46,036 --> 00:23:48,138
Hey! I thought you were
supposed to have a date

644
00:23:48,205 --> 00:23:49,339
with Stella Mary tonight.

645
00:23:49,406 --> 00:23:51,041
No, I don't have a date
with Stella Mary.

646
00:23:51,108 --> 00:23:52,418
I have a date with that
young lady right there.

647
00:23:52,442 --> 00:23:53,752
Well, Stella Mary
doesn't know about...

648
00:23:53,776 --> 00:23:55,145
Look, knock it off,
fern.

649
00:23:55,212 --> 00:23:57,480
Just park the car,
honey.

650
00:24:10,127 --> 00:24:11,127
Hello, Ruby Pearl.

651
00:24:11,161 --> 00:24:12,729
Hi, I thought
you had a date

652
00:24:12,795 --> 00:24:13,696
with Stella Mary tonight.

653
00:24:13,763 --> 00:24:14,764
Cool it, cool it.

654
00:24:14,831 --> 00:24:16,466
Just check the hat,
and cool it.

655
00:24:18,568 --> 00:24:19,669
Here we go, dear.

656
00:24:19,736 --> 00:24:21,104
Bon soir,
monsieur Mattemore.

657
00:24:21,171 --> 00:24:22,105
Bon soir, mademoiselle.

658
00:24:22,172 --> 00:24:23,106
Breckinridge,
how are you?

659
00:24:23,173 --> 00:24:24,407
Ha ha, monsieur Mattemore,

660
00:24:24,474 --> 00:24:26,676
I wonder if I could speak
to you for just a moment?

661
00:24:26,743 --> 00:24:28,245
Well, yes, of course.

662
00:24:28,311 --> 00:24:29,612
Pardon, mademoiselle.

663
00:24:29,679 --> 00:24:31,048
Excuse us a moment.

664
00:24:32,382 --> 00:24:33,983
Say, Pete, there has
been a mistake made.

665
00:24:34,051 --> 00:24:35,285
A mistake? What mistake?

666
00:24:35,352 --> 00:24:37,232
Well, we have you down
here for a special table,

667
00:24:37,287 --> 00:24:38,888
French champagne,
Russian caviar,

668
00:24:38,955 --> 00:24:40,157
an orchid on the table,

669
00:24:40,223 --> 00:24:42,925
violinists at
the appropriate time...

670
00:24:42,992 --> 00:24:44,194
Yeah, that's
what I want.

671
00:24:44,261 --> 00:24:46,896
You? You never
spent over $1.35

672
00:24:46,963 --> 00:24:48,107
on a girl before
in your life.

673
00:24:48,131 --> 00:24:50,733
Well, I'm gonna
spend more tonight.

674
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:51,934
I'm sorry, dear.

675
00:24:52,001 --> 00:24:53,079
There was a little
problem with the table.

676
00:24:53,103 --> 00:24:54,304
Well,
mademoiselle, monsieur.

677
00:24:56,239 --> 00:24:57,140
Hey, I thought you
had a date with...

678
00:24:57,207 --> 00:24:58,875
You thought,
but I don't.

679
00:24:58,941 --> 00:25:00,143
Well, she thinks
you do.

680
00:25:00,210 --> 00:25:01,654
Shh! Yeah, well, I don't
care what she thinks,

681
00:25:01,678 --> 00:25:02,712
I don't.

682
00:25:02,779 --> 00:25:03,779
Excuse me.

683
00:25:10,653 --> 00:25:11,988
Well,
Mr. Mattemore,

684
00:25:12,055 --> 00:25:13,856
nothing that could
turn a girl's head

685
00:25:13,923 --> 00:25:15,625
seems to be
overlooked.

686
00:25:15,692 --> 00:25:18,161
Well, I-i-i didn't want
for it to appear

687
00:25:18,228 --> 00:25:19,972
to be prearranged,
it's just that you want...

688
00:25:19,996 --> 00:25:21,231
Oh, don't apologize.

689
00:25:21,298 --> 00:25:23,933
I know with the limited
time schedule you have,

690
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,602
you have to plan
everything right down

691
00:25:25,668 --> 00:25:26,736
to the last second.

692
00:25:26,803 --> 00:25:28,571
I knew you'd appreciate that.

693
00:25:28,638 --> 00:25:31,441
Now, what's the exact
time we have set aside

694
00:25:31,508 --> 00:25:34,144
for our first tremulous
kiss?

695
00:25:55,732 --> 00:25:57,667
You gonna make this
your life's work?

696
00:25:57,734 --> 00:25:58,601
Oh, pardon,
monsieur.

697
00:25:58,668 --> 00:26:00,012
Would you mind pouring
the champagne, please?

698
00:26:00,036 --> 00:26:01,204
Oh, I'm sorry...

699
00:26:01,271 --> 00:26:03,273
I mean, I... I'm certain
you would like to know

700
00:26:03,340 --> 00:26:05,475
what will, in the end
result, prevail between

701
00:26:05,542 --> 00:26:07,253
the lady and I, but
I haven't found out yet,

702
00:26:07,277 --> 00:26:08,687
so, as soon as I know,
I'll let you know.

703
00:26:08,711 --> 00:26:09,479
Pardon moi.

704
00:26:09,546 --> 00:26:10,680
That's perfectly
all right.

705
00:26:10,747 --> 00:26:12,749
Merci.
Thank you.

706
00:26:12,815 --> 00:26:15,985
Ahem... sorry. Um...

707
00:26:16,052 --> 00:26:18,988
Oh, yes, I was going
to say that, uh...

708
00:26:19,055 --> 00:26:21,391
Uh... I realize
this afternoon,

709
00:26:21,458 --> 00:26:23,493
you were terribly upset
at the fact that we really

710
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:24,994
didn't know each other
very well.

711
00:26:25,061 --> 00:26:26,196
Mm-hmm?

712
00:26:26,263 --> 00:26:29,098
Well, I, uh, took it
upon myself to, uh,

713
00:26:29,166 --> 00:26:30,443
get this biography
that I made out

714
00:26:30,467 --> 00:26:31,934
when I joined the service.

715
00:26:32,001 --> 00:26:33,936
It's a standard form.

716
00:26:34,003 --> 00:26:35,405
And I think it'll
save some time.

717
00:26:35,472 --> 00:26:37,540
I suppose you've filled
one out, too.

718
00:26:37,607 --> 00:26:39,008
Yes.

719
00:26:39,075 --> 00:26:40,210
I just didn't
happen to think

720
00:26:40,277 --> 00:26:41,444
to bring it
along with me.

721
00:26:46,283 --> 00:26:48,251
Hmm. Very
interesting.

722
00:26:48,318 --> 00:26:53,290
Name, address,
age, weight.

723
00:26:53,356 --> 00:26:55,124
Uh, I might add,
this was made out

724
00:26:55,192 --> 00:26:59,629
11 years ago. I grew
an inch taller since then.

725
00:27:01,331 --> 00:27:03,166
Well, it's
all there.

726
00:27:03,233 --> 00:27:05,268
Yeah, well... not all,
of course.

727
00:27:05,335 --> 00:27:07,069
Oh, everything a
girl contemplating

728
00:27:07,136 --> 00:27:08,971
marriage should
know, though.

729
00:27:09,038 --> 00:27:11,040
Except about that
seedy reputation

730
00:27:11,107 --> 00:27:12,542
you seem to have.

731
00:27:12,609 --> 00:27:15,578
Seedy reputation?
What seedy reputa...

732
00:27:15,645 --> 00:27:17,046
Have you been talking
to Quonset?

733
00:27:17,113 --> 00:27:19,749
Yes. He called me
this afternoon,

734
00:27:19,816 --> 00:27:21,294
and he put in what
he obviously thought

735
00:27:21,318 --> 00:27:22,352
was a plug for you.

736
00:27:22,419 --> 00:27:24,221
Well, why doesn't he keep

737
00:27:24,287 --> 00:27:27,123
his weather forecasting nose
out of my business?

738
00:27:27,190 --> 00:27:28,591
This whole thing
is all wrong.

739
00:27:28,658 --> 00:27:31,761
I-I think we should
start all over again.

740
00:27:31,828 --> 00:27:34,964
I mean, from the beginning.

741
00:27:35,031 --> 00:27:36,233
Don't you?

742
00:27:38,235 --> 00:27:40,136
All right. Right
from the beginning.

743
00:27:40,203 --> 00:27:41,504
Okay.

744
00:27:41,571 --> 00:27:43,115
Are there any questions
you want to ask about me?

745
00:27:43,139 --> 00:27:44,974
Mm-hmm. Just one.

746
00:27:45,041 --> 00:27:46,243
What's that?

747
00:27:46,309 --> 00:27:47,410
Who is Stella Mary?

748
00:27:48,611 --> 00:27:51,948
St...

749
00:27:52,014 --> 00:27:55,184
If, uh...

750
00:27:55,252 --> 00:27:57,220
If I'm not mistaken,

751
00:27:57,287 --> 00:27:59,356
Th-that's, uh,

752
00:27:59,422 --> 00:28:01,924
Stella Mary, right there.

753
00:28:01,991 --> 00:28:05,762
Uh, hi, Stella.

754
00:28:05,828 --> 00:28:07,364
Why, you miserable,

755
00:28:07,430 --> 00:28:11,668
no good, date-breakin',
two-timin' pipsqueak!

756
00:28:35,692 --> 00:28:37,193
Good morning.
Good morning.

757
00:28:37,260 --> 00:28:38,895
Mr. Quonset's
talking to the moon,

758
00:28:38,961 --> 00:28:40,229
but you can go
right in.

759
00:28:40,297 --> 00:28:42,098
Thank you.

760
00:28:42,164 --> 00:28:45,234
Schmidlapp.

761
00:28:45,302 --> 00:28:46,769
Schmidlapp.

762
00:28:48,405 --> 00:28:50,673
He's a stubborn one.

763
00:28:50,740 --> 00:28:53,610
Schmidlapp, I want you
to do something for me.

764
00:28:53,676 --> 00:28:56,979
I want you to get up
and go across the room

765
00:28:57,046 --> 00:28:59,549
and untie Hoffman.

766
00:28:59,616 --> 00:29:04,321
Schmidlapp, you shouldn't
tie Hoffman up like that.

767
00:29:04,387 --> 00:29:05,988
Why don't you go
take a flyin'...

768
00:29:07,156 --> 00:29:08,166
Now, listen to me,
Schmidlapp.

769
00:29:08,190 --> 00:29:11,093
I've been
very patient with you.

770
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:12,429
I never said anything

771
00:29:12,495 --> 00:29:14,497
about that
disgraceful business

772
00:29:14,564 --> 00:29:16,366
of your attacking
that Russian girl.

773
00:29:16,433 --> 00:29:18,335
That could very easily
have got us

774
00:29:18,401 --> 00:29:20,303
into a very difficult
situation,

775
00:29:20,370 --> 00:29:22,104
but I never
said a thing.

776
00:29:22,171 --> 00:29:23,506
But there is one thing

777
00:29:23,573 --> 00:29:26,376
I am not going
to stand for, Schmidlapp,

778
00:29:26,443 --> 00:29:27,610
and that is the way

779
00:29:27,677 --> 00:29:30,146
you tie up Hoffman
all the time.

780
00:29:31,748 --> 00:29:33,650
Do you hear me,
Schmidlapp?

781
00:29:35,885 --> 00:29:37,854
Yeah, I hear you.

782
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:39,356
Like I said before,

783
00:29:39,422 --> 00:29:40,862
Why don't you go take a...

784
00:29:42,091 --> 00:29:44,961
Schmidlapp, I don't have
to listen to talk like that.

785
00:29:45,027 --> 00:29:47,597
You think just because you're
way up there on the moon,

786
00:29:47,664 --> 00:29:51,000
I don't have anything
I can threaten you with.

787
00:29:54,303 --> 00:29:56,272
Schmidlapp.

788
00:29:56,339 --> 00:29:57,774
Schmidlapp.

789
00:30:02,044 --> 00:30:03,279
Trouble is...

790
00:30:03,346 --> 00:30:04,506
That way up there
on the moon,

791
00:30:04,547 --> 00:30:06,949
I don't have anything
I can threaten him with.

792
00:30:08,851 --> 00:30:09,752
Well?

793
00:30:09,819 --> 00:30:12,922
I hear you struck out
again last night.

794
00:30:12,989 --> 00:30:14,023
How do you know?

795
00:30:14,090 --> 00:30:17,293
I make it my business
to know these things.

796
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,261
She walked out on you
in the restaurant,

797
00:30:19,328 --> 00:30:21,297
and later, when you went
up to her apartment,

798
00:30:21,364 --> 00:30:22,364
she wouldn't let you in.

799
00:30:22,399 --> 00:30:23,800
Well, there was

800
00:30:23,866 --> 00:30:26,202
just a chain
of unfortunate circumstances...

801
00:30:26,268 --> 00:30:27,970
Oh, knock it off,
Mattemore.

802
00:30:28,037 --> 00:30:29,582
You're dead with that girl
and you know it.

803
00:30:29,606 --> 00:30:30,973
She hates your guts.

804
00:30:32,675 --> 00:30:33,819
Let me know when miss
Davenport gets here,

805
00:30:33,843 --> 00:30:34,744
will you?

806
00:30:34,811 --> 00:30:35,854
Woman, on phone:
Oh, she's here now, sir.

807
00:30:35,878 --> 00:30:36,913
She is?

808
00:30:36,979 --> 00:30:38,114
Oh, well, send her in.

809
00:30:38,180 --> 00:30:39,180
Miss who?

810
00:30:39,215 --> 00:30:40,249
Now, don't start that.

811
00:30:40,316 --> 00:30:41,183
You haven't got
any more time.

812
00:30:41,250 --> 00:30:42,452
Let's just pray

813
00:30:42,519 --> 00:30:44,587
you do a little bit better
with miss Davenport

814
00:30:44,654 --> 00:30:46,022
than you did
with miss Forbes.

815
00:30:46,088 --> 00:30:47,824
I don't know what
the weather bureau's doing

816
00:30:47,890 --> 00:30:50,326
in this business of finding
girls for you, anyway.

817
00:30:50,393 --> 00:30:52,094
Well, it certainly
wasn't my ID...

818
00:30:52,161 --> 00:30:53,663
Ahh!

819
00:30:53,730 --> 00:30:56,098
Miss Davenport,
good morning.

820
00:30:56,165 --> 00:30:57,299
May I introduce

821
00:30:57,366 --> 00:30:59,368
the charming and attractive
Mr. Mattemore,

822
00:30:59,436 --> 00:31:01,170
who, as I told you
on the telephone,

823
00:31:01,237 --> 00:31:02,839
has been so anxious
to meet you.

824
00:31:02,905 --> 00:31:06,008
Miss Davenport,
m-Mr. Mattemore.

825
00:31:06,075 --> 00:31:08,077
How do you do? Oh!

826
00:31:08,144 --> 00:31:09,178
Won't you
sit down?

827
00:31:09,245 --> 00:31:11,981
Thank you.

828
00:31:12,048 --> 00:31:13,149
Well...

829
00:31:13,215 --> 00:31:15,284
Shall we get
right down to it?

830
00:31:15,351 --> 00:31:17,353
I've been briefed
on the whole situation

831
00:31:17,420 --> 00:31:19,822
and I understand
all of the ramifications.

832
00:31:19,889 --> 00:31:22,959
Let me say
right here and now,

833
00:31:23,025 --> 00:31:24,026
that I'm ready to go.

834
00:31:24,093 --> 00:31:25,161
Good girl.

835
00:31:25,227 --> 00:31:26,228
Mattemore.
Yes, sir?

836
00:31:26,295 --> 00:31:28,431
When is the marriage
to be scheduled?

837
00:31:28,498 --> 00:31:29,666
Will I have
a chance to visit

838
00:31:29,732 --> 00:31:31,200
my family in San Diego?

839
00:31:31,267 --> 00:31:33,369
It doesn't matter.
I won't insist.

840
00:31:33,436 --> 00:31:36,238
Fine! Isn't everything
fine, Mattemore?

841
00:31:36,305 --> 00:31:37,607
Why, yes,
as a matter of fact...

842
00:31:37,674 --> 00:31:39,609
No! Everything is not fine!

843
00:31:39,676 --> 00:31:41,944
Miss Davenport and I hardly
even know each other!

844
00:31:42,011 --> 00:31:42,912
Know each other?

845
00:31:42,979 --> 00:31:45,047
What has that got to do
with anything?

846
00:31:45,114 --> 00:31:46,992
Well, it's got everything
to do with everything!

847
00:31:47,016 --> 00:31:49,318
I mean, we... we're
talking about something

848
00:31:49,385 --> 00:31:50,286
we're gonna
have to live with

849
00:31:50,352 --> 00:31:51,554
for the rest
of our lives!

850
00:31:51,621 --> 00:31:54,757
What we're talking about,
Mr. Mattemore,

851
00:31:54,824 --> 00:31:57,860
is the greatest
scientific opportunity

852
00:31:57,927 --> 00:32:00,563
that 2 people
have ever been given.

853
00:32:00,630 --> 00:32:02,298
And when you
get right down to it,

854
00:32:02,364 --> 00:32:04,133
what is marriage, anyhow?

855
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,303
1/2 hour a day,
at most.

856
00:32:07,369 --> 00:32:08,505
1/2 hour?

857
00:32:08,571 --> 00:32:11,073
Is that too much time
or too little?

858
00:32:12,374 --> 00:32:14,043
Every day?

859
00:32:16,212 --> 00:32:17,212
I mean...

860
00:32:17,246 --> 00:32:18,380
What I mean is,

861
00:32:18,447 --> 00:32:20,550
what about the spiritual
aspect of marriage?

862
00:32:20,617 --> 00:32:22,351
For Pete's sake,
Mattemore,

863
00:32:22,418 --> 00:32:24,787
you sound like
a 16-year-old girl.

864
00:32:24,854 --> 00:32:26,198
All I'm trying
to say, Mr. Quonset...

865
00:32:26,222 --> 00:32:27,490
Mattemore,
the important thing

866
00:32:27,557 --> 00:32:28,557
is that
miss Davenport

867
00:32:28,591 --> 00:32:29,659
is ready and willing

868
00:32:29,726 --> 00:32:31,861
to go to the moon
with you on Thursday.

869
00:32:31,928 --> 00:32:33,830
You don't run across
a girl like that

870
00:32:33,896 --> 00:32:34,697
every day.

871
00:32:34,764 --> 00:32:35,698
I understand that, sir,

872
00:32:35,765 --> 00:32:36,845
but I'm merely trying to...

873
00:32:36,899 --> 00:32:39,636
Mattemore, forget
this spiritual business.

874
00:32:39,702 --> 00:32:41,838
Mrs. Quonset and I
have been married

875
00:32:41,904 --> 00:32:43,272
for 23 years,

876
00:32:43,339 --> 00:32:44,874
and during the whole
of that time

877
00:32:44,941 --> 00:32:45,975
we have never...

878
00:32:46,042 --> 00:32:47,644
I repeat, never...

879
00:32:47,710 --> 00:32:50,547
Had a single solitary
spiritual moment

880
00:32:50,613 --> 00:32:51,781
between us.

881
00:32:51,848 --> 00:32:54,216
I'm afraid we're
wasting time, gentlemen.

882
00:32:54,283 --> 00:32:55,084
I'll be expecting

883
00:32:55,151 --> 00:32:57,219
to hear from your office,
Mr. Quonset.

884
00:32:57,286 --> 00:32:58,526
It's gonna be
a great adventure,

885
00:32:58,555 --> 00:32:59,722
Mr. Mattemore.

886
00:32:59,789 --> 00:33:00,723
Well...

887
00:33:00,790 --> 00:33:03,259
The greatest adventure
that a man and woman

888
00:33:03,325 --> 00:33:04,927
ever embarked on.

889
00:33:04,994 --> 00:33:06,095
Oh!

890
00:33:08,598 --> 00:33:11,601
Now, that's what I call
a most unusual girl.

891
00:33:11,668 --> 00:33:12,911
Yeah, I would call
her that, too.

892
00:33:12,935 --> 00:33:14,771
Well, it's true
she's not the sort of girl

893
00:33:14,837 --> 00:33:17,039
you'd fall in love with
at first sight.

894
00:33:17,106 --> 00:33:18,507
At first sight?!

895
00:33:18,575 --> 00:33:20,577
But I'll tell you
what she is, Mattemore.

896
00:33:20,643 --> 00:33:21,778
She's qualified,

897
00:33:21,844 --> 00:33:24,046
she's available
for the trip Thursday,

898
00:33:24,113 --> 00:33:26,348
and she's a girl.

899
00:33:26,415 --> 00:33:28,250
Is that a wild guess,
Mr. Quonset,

900
00:33:28,317 --> 00:33:30,186
or do you know something
I don't?

901
00:33:30,252 --> 00:33:31,854
Mattemore,
why don't you

902
00:33:31,921 --> 00:33:33,856
try and look
on the bright side.

903
00:33:33,923 --> 00:33:35,491
This wedding
is going to be

904
00:33:35,558 --> 00:33:37,594
one of the biggest
things in years.

905
00:33:37,660 --> 00:33:39,495
You'll have
television coverage,

906
00:33:39,562 --> 00:33:41,664
newsreels,
and who knows?

907
00:33:41,731 --> 00:33:44,133
You may even get
a telephone call

908
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,737
from the president of
the United States himself.

909
00:33:50,139 --> 00:33:52,374
Mr. Quonset,

910
00:33:52,441 --> 00:33:54,443
if you could just forget
your position

911
00:33:54,510 --> 00:33:55,444
for just a moment

912
00:33:55,511 --> 00:33:57,046
and level with me,

913
00:33:57,113 --> 00:33:59,048
would you marry
a girl like that?

914
00:33:59,115 --> 00:34:01,417
Mattemore.

915
00:34:01,483 --> 00:34:03,352
I did.

916
00:34:03,419 --> 00:34:05,354
I did marry a girl
like that.

917
00:34:05,421 --> 00:34:07,990
You did marry a... oh!

918
00:34:22,438 --> 00:34:24,106
Hi.

919
00:34:24,173 --> 00:34:25,975
Well, hello.

920
00:34:26,042 --> 00:34:27,543
I, uh, had
no place to go,

921
00:34:27,610 --> 00:34:30,947
so I thought I'd
come over here.

922
00:34:31,013 --> 00:34:32,457
Now, that's not
the most flattering thing

923
00:34:32,481 --> 00:34:33,482
I've ever heard,

924
00:34:33,549 --> 00:34:37,386
but I'll skip it
for the moment.

925
00:34:37,453 --> 00:34:39,588
Would you like
to come in?

926
00:34:39,656 --> 00:34:40,723
Yeah, thank you.

927
00:34:40,790 --> 00:34:42,591
I didn't mean it
to be unflattering.

928
00:34:45,227 --> 00:34:47,764
Well, here's to your
last night on earth.

929
00:34:47,830 --> 00:34:48,998
I mean, for a year.

930
00:34:49,065 --> 00:34:52,534
That's better.

931
00:34:52,601 --> 00:34:54,904
You know, it still
seems incredible to me

932
00:34:54,971 --> 00:34:56,338
that in
a very few hours,

933
00:34:56,405 --> 00:34:58,808
you'll be up there...

934
00:34:58,875 --> 00:35:00,309
Looking down at us here.

935
00:35:01,343 --> 00:35:05,014
Yeah, and wondering
what you'll be doing.

936
00:35:05,081 --> 00:35:08,317
Oh, I won't be
doing a thing,

937
00:35:08,384 --> 00:35:09,719
except maybe
kicking myself

938
00:35:09,786 --> 00:35:11,253
for not going along.

939
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:15,491
Well, you know,
it's still not too late.

940
00:35:15,557 --> 00:35:18,160
I know,
Peter, but...

941
00:35:18,227 --> 00:35:19,295
I...

942
00:35:19,361 --> 00:35:21,497
If you feel too strongly
about it, naturally...

943
00:35:21,563 --> 00:35:23,866
I do feel
strongly about it.

944
00:35:23,933 --> 00:35:24,867
I've been
dying to go

945
00:35:24,934 --> 00:35:25,835
ever since
the first minute

946
00:35:25,902 --> 00:35:29,638
we talked about it.

947
00:35:29,706 --> 00:35:31,116
One of the troubles
with life, Peter,

948
00:35:31,140 --> 00:35:33,275
is that you're stuck
with the way

949
00:35:33,342 --> 00:35:35,778
you're brought up.

950
00:35:35,845 --> 00:35:37,555
You're taught to look
at things a certain way,

951
00:35:37,579 --> 00:35:38,514
and no matter
what happens,

952
00:35:38,580 --> 00:35:40,850
that's the way
you see it.

953
00:35:42,819 --> 00:35:44,296
You know, I almost
called you the other night.

954
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:45,320
You did?

955
00:35:45,354 --> 00:35:48,657
Yeah. I had an idea.

956
00:35:48,725 --> 00:35:50,827
But I... I know
it couldn't work.

957
00:35:50,893 --> 00:35:52,194
Well, what was it?

958
00:35:52,261 --> 00:35:53,095
I mean...

959
00:35:53,162 --> 00:35:54,330
Well, it really
doesn't matter

960
00:35:54,396 --> 00:35:55,631
'cause it's
not gonna work.

961
00:35:55,698 --> 00:35:56,698
Well, I'd like to know,

962
00:35:56,733 --> 00:35:59,802
just as a matter
of conversation.

963
00:35:59,869 --> 00:36:01,871
Well, I was
just thinking.

964
00:36:01,938 --> 00:36:02,972
Why couldn't we
go ahead

965
00:36:03,039 --> 00:36:04,106
with
the wedding ceremony

966
00:36:04,173 --> 00:36:07,276
and sort of have a
marriage in name only?

967
00:36:08,277 --> 00:36:10,646
You mean like
and never consummate it?

968
00:36:10,713 --> 00:36:11,713
Yeah.

969
00:36:13,349 --> 00:36:15,127
Well, I don't really believe
that's what they had in mind

970
00:36:15,151 --> 00:36:17,754
when they began
this experiment.

971
00:36:17,820 --> 00:36:19,655
Yeah, it wouldn't
work, would it?

972
00:36:19,722 --> 00:36:21,023
Ha ha!

973
00:36:21,090 --> 00:36:25,127
Well, I could be crazier
than Schmidlapp in 2 days.

974
00:36:26,628 --> 00:36:27,629
I just thought

975
00:36:27,696 --> 00:36:28,898
2 intelligent
adult people,

976
00:36:28,965 --> 00:36:31,200
well, surely they could
trust themselves.

977
00:36:31,267 --> 00:36:32,534
Oh, oh,
I trust you completely.

978
00:36:32,601 --> 00:36:35,271
It's... I would...

979
00:36:35,337 --> 00:36:36,672
It is a shame, though.

980
00:36:36,739 --> 00:36:37,940
Oh, yes.

981
00:36:38,007 --> 00:36:39,408
Yes, it is.
It really is a shame.

982
00:36:42,444 --> 00:36:44,814
Well, I, uh...

983
00:36:44,881 --> 00:36:48,217
I guess
I better get going.

984
00:36:48,284 --> 00:36:49,351
Yeah.

985
00:37:00,162 --> 00:37:01,097
Good-bye.

986
00:37:01,163 --> 00:37:02,431
Good-bye.

987
00:37:05,401 --> 00:37:06,568
Uh, Eileen...

988
00:37:06,635 --> 00:37:08,604
Yes?

989
00:37:08,670 --> 00:37:10,039
I was wondering,

990
00:37:10,106 --> 00:37:13,009
would it be all right
if I kissed you good-bye?

991
00:37:16,846 --> 00:37:18,480
You're still going
a long way.

992
00:37:50,913 --> 00:37:52,982
Good-bye.

993
00:38:16,605 --> 00:38:17,639
Ahh!

994
00:38:17,706 --> 00:38:18,975
I surrender
unconditionally.

995
00:38:19,041 --> 00:38:20,242
I'll do anything you say,

996
00:38:20,309 --> 00:38:21,810
but, please,
don't let me go up there

997
00:38:21,878 --> 00:38:22,879
with Esther Davenport.

998
00:38:22,945 --> 00:38:24,346
Oh, Peter, I...

999
00:38:24,413 --> 00:38:26,482
I know I'll probably
go out of my mind,

1000
00:38:26,548 --> 00:38:28,717
but I would much prefer
going crazy with you

1001
00:38:28,784 --> 00:38:30,319
than with anybody else
I know.

1002
00:38:30,386 --> 00:38:32,188
Hadn't you better
think it over?

1003
00:38:32,254 --> 00:38:33,455
You know,
you said yourself...

1004
00:38:33,522 --> 00:38:35,724
I... I did think it over,
and forget what I said.

1005
00:38:35,791 --> 00:38:37,559
I mean, you just
make the conditions

1006
00:38:37,626 --> 00:38:39,295
and I agree to them.

1007
00:38:39,361 --> 00:38:41,430
What do you say?

1008
00:38:41,497 --> 00:38:42,698
Well, if you're sure...

1009
00:38:42,764 --> 00:38:46,335
Oh, yes, I'm sure.
I'm positive. Okay?

1010
00:38:46,402 --> 00:38:47,402
Okay.

1011
00:38:47,436 --> 00:38:48,470
All right.

1012
00:38:48,537 --> 00:38:51,340
Would you mind if I
kissed you good-bye again?

1013
00:38:51,407 --> 00:38:53,342
You don't have to.

1014
00:38:53,409 --> 00:38:54,543
I'm going with you.

1015
00:38:54,610 --> 00:38:56,845
Oh, yeah.

1016
00:38:59,815 --> 00:39:01,283
I'll see you.

1017
00:39:01,350 --> 00:39:02,451
Okay.

1018
00:39:06,055 --> 00:39:07,623
Hey, what do you think?

1019
00:39:07,689 --> 00:39:09,258
I'm on my way.

1020
00:39:31,247 --> 00:39:32,814
Hey, Mr. Mattemore,

1021
00:39:32,881 --> 00:39:33,881
one more, please.

1022
00:39:33,916 --> 00:39:36,118
Thank you.

1023
00:40:26,702 --> 00:40:28,070
Do you know
what the time is?

1024
00:40:28,137 --> 00:40:29,181
Where in the devil
have you been?

1025
00:40:29,205 --> 00:40:30,306
Well, they were just...

1026
00:40:30,372 --> 00:40:31,516
There's no time
for explanations.

1027
00:40:31,540 --> 00:40:32,741
Come along, please.

1028
00:40:32,808 --> 00:40:34,476
Get on with it.

1029
00:40:38,514 --> 00:40:39,681
Please, hurry.

1030
00:40:41,450 --> 00:40:44,386
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered...

1031
00:40:44,453 --> 00:40:45,863
Yes, we only have
a minute and a half

1032
00:40:45,887 --> 00:40:47,232
before liftoff,
we shall have to do this

1033
00:40:47,256 --> 00:40:48,416
in the elevator
on the way up.

1034
00:40:48,457 --> 00:40:49,458
Please...

1035
00:40:49,525 --> 00:40:51,060
Come along.

1036
00:40:51,127 --> 00:40:52,861
That's all I'm afraid.

1037
00:40:52,928 --> 00:40:55,431
Mattemore, not you!

1038
00:40:59,268 --> 00:41:00,869
Well, what are we
waiting for now?

1039
00:41:01,937 --> 00:41:03,305
Oh, yes.

1040
00:41:03,372 --> 00:41:05,274
Dearly beloved,
we are...

1041
00:41:05,341 --> 00:41:06,642
You're never going
to make it

1042
00:41:06,708 --> 00:41:07,709
with all that in there.

1043
00:41:07,776 --> 00:41:08,877
Just cut to the point

1044
00:41:08,944 --> 00:41:10,946
where everybody agrees
to take everybody.

1045
00:41:11,013 --> 00:41:12,214
Oh, yes.

1046
00:41:12,281 --> 00:41:16,452
Do you, Peter Mattemore,
take Eileen Forbes

1047
00:41:16,518 --> 00:41:18,087
to be your lawful
wedded wife?

1048
00:41:19,321 --> 00:41:21,090
I do.

1049
00:41:21,157 --> 00:41:23,725
I left out
to love and to Cherish

1050
00:41:23,792 --> 00:41:25,127
till death do us part.

1051
00:41:25,194 --> 00:41:26,928
That's the loveliest
part of the ceremony.

1052
00:41:26,995 --> 00:41:28,397
Good. I hate that part.

1053
00:41:28,464 --> 00:41:29,464
Congratulations.

1054
00:41:29,498 --> 00:41:31,867
I haven't asked her
if she takes him yet.

1055
00:41:31,933 --> 00:41:34,070
Don't worry about it,
she does. Ha.

1056
00:41:34,136 --> 00:41:36,205
Won't be legal,
if I don't ask her.

1057
00:41:36,272 --> 00:41:37,552
Well, for heaven's sake,
ask her.

1058
00:41:37,606 --> 00:41:38,774
We're nearly at the top.

1059
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,842
Thank you.

1060
00:41:40,909 --> 00:41:42,778
Uh, dearly beloved...

1061
00:41:42,844 --> 00:41:44,446
Yeah, you've said that
already.

1062
00:41:44,513 --> 00:41:45,581
I did?
Yes.

1063
00:41:45,647 --> 00:41:48,317
Oh. Oh, Eileen Forbes,

1064
00:41:48,384 --> 00:41:50,086
do you take
Peter Mattemore

1065
00:41:50,152 --> 00:41:52,721
to be your lawful
wedded husband?

1066
00:41:52,788 --> 00:41:54,590
I do.

1067
00:41:54,656 --> 00:41:56,492
Good. Congratulations.

1068
00:41:56,558 --> 00:41:58,594
Haven't pronounced them
man and wife yet.

1069
00:41:58,660 --> 00:42:00,329
Oh, for heaven's sake,
pronounce them.

1070
00:42:00,396 --> 00:42:02,664
We only have
45 seconds left.

1071
00:42:02,731 --> 00:42:03,731
Thank you.

1072
00:42:05,234 --> 00:42:08,770
I now pronounce you
man and wife.

1073
00:42:09,838 --> 00:42:10,838
Good!

1074
00:42:13,975 --> 00:42:16,011
Everybody out.

1075
00:42:16,078 --> 00:42:17,746
A word of advice
to the newlyweds...

1076
00:42:17,813 --> 00:42:19,148
Later, later.

1077
00:42:19,215 --> 00:42:21,250
This is deuce Hawkins,

1078
00:42:21,317 --> 00:42:23,519
your space pilot
on your trip to the moon.

1079
00:42:23,585 --> 00:42:24,320
Mrs. Mattemore.

1080
00:42:24,386 --> 00:42:25,386
Hello.
How do you do?

1081
00:42:25,421 --> 00:42:26,588
Will you, please,
step in?

1082
00:42:26,655 --> 00:42:27,689
Bye.
Bye.

1083
00:42:27,756 --> 00:42:30,058
Bye.
Right here.

1084
00:42:30,126 --> 00:42:31,460
This is Mr. Mattemore.

1085
00:42:31,527 --> 00:42:32,728
How do you do?

1086
00:42:32,794 --> 00:42:34,062
How do you do?
I take it

1087
00:42:34,130 --> 00:42:36,132
you've made this trip
before, Mr. Hawkins?

1088
00:42:36,198 --> 00:42:37,466
Well, not recently.

1089
00:42:37,533 --> 00:42:39,601
I've been laid off
for the last 2 years.

1090
00:42:39,668 --> 00:42:40,502
Ahh!

1091
00:42:42,338 --> 00:42:43,105
Why?

1092
00:42:43,172 --> 00:42:44,973
Why what?

1093
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:47,843
I mean, why has
he been laid off?

1094
00:42:47,909 --> 00:42:49,109
Drinking. We don't
bring it up.

1095
00:42:49,145 --> 00:42:50,612
He's very sensitive
about it.

1096
00:42:50,679 --> 00:42:51,847
Oh!

1097
00:42:51,913 --> 00:42:53,349
He's sensitive about...

1098
00:42:54,650 --> 00:42:57,553
He's Dr... Drink...

1099
00:42:57,619 --> 00:42:59,988
Oh!

1100
00:43:00,055 --> 00:43:01,623
Man, on loudspeaker:
30 seconds.

1101
00:43:10,499 --> 00:43:11,400
20 seconds.

1102
00:43:11,467 --> 00:43:12,668
Peter, hold this
for a second.

1103
00:43:12,734 --> 00:43:13,734
Yeah.

1104
00:43:13,769 --> 00:43:14,769
Here we go.

1105
00:43:14,803 --> 00:43:16,838
15 seconds.

1106
00:43:19,975 --> 00:43:23,011
10, 9, 8...

1107
00:43:23,078 --> 00:43:26,081
7, 6, 5...

1108
00:43:26,148 --> 00:43:28,917
4, 3, 2...

1109
00:43:28,984 --> 00:43:30,886
1, 0.

1110
00:44:06,288 --> 00:44:08,056
They're going to be here
any minute now.

1111
00:44:08,123 --> 00:44:09,401
The least you could do
is to help me

1112
00:44:09,425 --> 00:44:11,126
clean up the place
a little bit.

1113
00:44:11,193 --> 00:44:13,795
Look at you,
gravy all over you.

1114
00:44:13,862 --> 00:44:18,200
Just look at this place,
it's a filthy pig sty.

1115
00:44:18,267 --> 00:44:20,569
Schmidlapp!

1116
00:44:20,636 --> 00:44:23,205
Do you realize
this computer

1117
00:44:23,272 --> 00:44:24,906
has been gummed up
for a week

1118
00:44:24,973 --> 00:44:28,577
from those lousy, Mexican
refried beans of yours?

1119
00:44:28,644 --> 00:44:30,379
Maybe it's all right
for us

1120
00:44:30,446 --> 00:44:32,248
to live like swine,
Schmidlapp,

1121
00:44:32,314 --> 00:44:35,116
but Mattemore is
bringing up a wife.

1122
00:44:35,183 --> 00:44:37,052
This morning,
when I unbolted our bunks

1123
00:44:37,118 --> 00:44:38,119
from the wall

1124
00:44:38,186 --> 00:44:40,489
to make
a double bed for them,

1125
00:44:40,556 --> 00:44:43,325
what do you think
I found in your blankets?

1126
00:44:43,392 --> 00:44:46,595
23-week-old
chicken enchiladas.

1127
00:44:46,662 --> 00:44:49,431
Uh-huh. Mmm.

1128
00:44:49,498 --> 00:44:51,233
Is that anything
for a brand-new bride

1129
00:44:51,300 --> 00:44:53,402
to find
in her wedding bed?

1130
00:44:55,304 --> 00:44:57,005
Do you hear me,
Schmidlapp?

1131
00:44:57,072 --> 00:44:59,941
Do you ever listen
to anything I say?

1132
00:45:13,188 --> 00:45:14,790
Luna III,

1133
00:45:14,856 --> 00:45:16,057
calling moon station.

1134
00:45:16,124 --> 00:45:17,759
Luna III, calling
moon station.

1135
00:45:21,196 --> 00:45:24,766
This is United States,
moon station.

1136
00:45:24,833 --> 00:45:26,635
Is that you, Mattemore?

1137
00:45:26,702 --> 00:45:28,103
Mattemore
yes, this is me.

1138
00:45:28,169 --> 00:45:29,338
Is that you,
Hoffman?

1139
00:45:29,405 --> 00:45:31,873
Yes, this is me.

1140
00:45:31,940 --> 00:45:34,543
It's Mattemore!

1141
00:45:34,610 --> 00:45:36,312
Oh, I've never been
so glad

1142
00:45:36,378 --> 00:45:37,846
to hear from anybody
in my life.

1143
00:45:37,913 --> 00:45:38,847
Well,
it's nice to hear

1144
00:45:38,914 --> 00:45:40,015
from you, too,
Hoffman.

1145
00:45:40,081 --> 00:45:41,249
We're in lunar orbit

1146
00:45:41,317 --> 00:45:43,118
and we just fired
our retro rockets,

1147
00:45:43,184 --> 00:45:44,085
and we should
be there

1148
00:45:44,152 --> 00:45:45,554
in a few minutes.

1149
00:45:45,621 --> 00:45:48,023
Ooh, I wish
you'd given us

1150
00:45:48,089 --> 00:45:50,158
more notice, Mattemore.

1151
00:45:50,225 --> 00:45:52,394
Haven't even had
a chance to shave yet.

1152
00:45:52,461 --> 00:45:54,162
Well,
it's too late now.

1153
00:45:54,229 --> 00:45:55,931
We've already gotten
into our space suits

1154
00:45:55,997 --> 00:45:57,198
and we're coming in.

1155
00:45:57,265 --> 00:45:58,500
See you in a couple
of minutes.

1156
00:45:58,567 --> 00:46:00,702
This is
Luna III out.

1157
00:46:03,405 --> 00:46:04,573
All right.

1158
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,376
All right,
you heard him.

1159
00:46:07,443 --> 00:46:10,211
We don't even
have time to shave.

1160
00:46:10,278 --> 00:46:13,382
But one thing we are
going to do, Schmidlapp.

1161
00:46:13,449 --> 00:46:15,317
We're going to get all
those filthy drawings

1162
00:46:15,384 --> 00:46:17,453
of yours down
off the walls.

1163
00:46:17,519 --> 00:46:19,588
How do you think a young
girl's going to react

1164
00:46:19,655 --> 00:46:21,323
when she walks in here
and finds these

1165
00:46:21,390 --> 00:46:23,959
lewd, fowl things of yours
all over the place?

1166
00:46:24,025 --> 00:46:27,496
These filthy things
have got to come down!

1167
00:46:29,931 --> 00:46:32,067
Oh, Schmidlapp,

1168
00:46:32,133 --> 00:46:34,069
aren't you
ashamed of yourself?

1169
00:46:40,809 --> 00:46:41,943
Blah!

1170
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:48,116
Do you realize
what you smell like

1171
00:46:48,183 --> 00:46:51,119
after all this time,
Schmidlapp?

1172
00:46:51,186 --> 00:46:52,120
No.

1173
00:46:52,187 --> 00:46:53,555
You are a slob!

1174
00:46:53,622 --> 00:46:57,526
A dirty, filthy,
no good slob!

1175
00:47:48,176 --> 00:47:50,078
Welcome.

1176
00:47:52,881 --> 00:47:54,483
Welcome.

1177
00:47:56,985 --> 00:47:58,920
Welcome to the moon.

1178
00:47:58,987 --> 00:48:00,889
I'm Hoffman.

1179
00:48:00,956 --> 00:48:02,290
Uh, Mattemore.

1180
00:48:02,357 --> 00:48:04,192
And this is, uh,
Mrs. Mattemore.

1181
00:48:04,259 --> 00:48:06,094
I want to walk
with her.

1182
00:48:06,161 --> 00:48:07,496
Aah!

1183
00:48:07,563 --> 00:48:09,731
Well, look, Mattemore,

1184
00:48:09,798 --> 00:48:13,101
I think we better get
Mrs. Mattemore in between us

1185
00:48:13,168 --> 00:48:15,312
and keep her there until we
get inside the moon station.

1186
00:48:15,336 --> 00:48:16,336
Why?

1187
00:48:16,371 --> 00:48:17,439
Well, uh, she...

1188
00:48:17,506 --> 00:48:19,641
I want to walk with her.

1189
00:48:19,708 --> 00:48:22,077
Never mind. Just grab one
arm, I'll grab the other.

1190
00:48:22,143 --> 00:48:23,044
I want to walk
with her!

1191
00:48:23,111 --> 00:48:26,147
And then don't let loose,
whatever you do.

1192
00:48:26,214 --> 00:48:27,015
I'm going to walk
with her.

1193
00:48:27,082 --> 00:48:28,083
Schmidlapp!

1194
00:48:28,149 --> 00:48:29,885
I want to walk
with her.

1195
00:48:29,951 --> 00:48:31,553
Let me walk with her
a little.

1196
00:48:31,620 --> 00:48:33,489
All right, please,
let me walk with her.

1197
00:48:33,555 --> 00:48:35,290
Just keep your distance,
Schmidlapp.

1198
00:48:35,356 --> 00:48:37,659
Remember, there are 2 of us
now and you're outnumbered.

1199
00:48:37,726 --> 00:48:38,994
Let me hold her hand.

1200
00:48:39,060 --> 00:48:40,596
A little something.

1201
00:48:41,930 --> 00:48:43,499
I'm going to have
to apologize

1202
00:48:43,565 --> 00:48:44,909
for the way this place
looks, Mattemore,

1203
00:48:44,933 --> 00:48:47,035
but, well, you know how
it is when you're baching.

1204
00:48:47,102 --> 00:48:48,036
Yeah.

1205
00:49:00,148 --> 00:49:01,883
Oh, it's been a mess

1206
00:49:01,950 --> 00:49:03,761
trying to keep any kind
of order up here at all.

1207
00:49:03,785 --> 00:49:05,320
And that one,
he couldn't care less

1208
00:49:05,386 --> 00:49:07,422
if the grime was
3 feet thick.

1209
00:49:07,489 --> 00:49:09,357
You better put
those boots on.

1210
00:49:09,424 --> 00:49:10,759
What for?

1211
00:49:10,826 --> 00:49:12,127
Well, they're
a special boot

1212
00:49:12,193 --> 00:49:13,871
designed to take care
of the low gravity up here.

1213
00:49:13,895 --> 00:49:14,935
If you don't
put them on...

1214
00:49:15,897 --> 00:49:16,832
Sail around
all over the room

1215
00:49:16,898 --> 00:49:19,568
every time
you take a step.

1216
00:49:19,635 --> 00:49:21,302
What's she doing
in there?

1217
00:49:21,369 --> 00:49:22,871
That's none
of your business.

1218
00:49:22,938 --> 00:49:24,640
Mattemore doesn't
want you to know

1219
00:49:24,706 --> 00:49:26,274
what his wife
is doing in there.

1220
00:49:26,341 --> 00:49:28,309
Why?

1221
00:49:28,376 --> 00:49:30,812
What is she doing?

1222
00:49:30,879 --> 00:49:33,949
She's not doing anything,

1223
00:49:34,015 --> 00:49:35,150
is she, Mattemore?

1224
00:49:35,216 --> 00:49:36,818
Huh?

1225
00:49:36,885 --> 00:49:39,788
Oh, no. That is,
I don't think so.

1226
00:49:39,855 --> 00:49:42,357
There, you see. So just
quit using that

1227
00:49:42,423 --> 00:49:44,826
awful, filthy,
imagination of yours

1228
00:49:44,893 --> 00:49:47,162
and get a hold
of yourself.

1229
00:49:47,228 --> 00:49:49,330
Is she taking
a shower?

1230
00:49:49,397 --> 00:49:51,833
Why? What's it to you?

1231
00:49:51,900 --> 00:49:52,668
Is she?

1232
00:49:52,734 --> 00:49:54,035
You... oh, I'm sorry.

1233
00:49:54,102 --> 00:49:55,904
Listen, I think,

1234
00:49:55,971 --> 00:49:57,906
for the sake
of everyone concerned,

1235
00:49:57,973 --> 00:50:00,308
that we'd better lift off
just as soon as possible.

1236
00:50:00,375 --> 00:50:02,377
I'll go over
everything with you.

1237
00:50:02,443 --> 00:50:03,712
And then we'll get
out of here.

1238
00:50:03,779 --> 00:50:07,616
Maybe she's
taking a bath...

1239
00:50:07,683 --> 00:50:09,585
Without anything on.

1240
00:50:09,651 --> 00:50:11,419
How dare you!

1241
00:50:11,486 --> 00:50:13,589
To say a thing like that
with her husband

1242
00:50:13,655 --> 00:50:15,523
sitting right in
the same room with ya.

1243
00:50:15,591 --> 00:50:17,158
I... I'm surprised
that Mattemore

1244
00:50:17,225 --> 00:50:18,560
doesn't horsewhip ya.

1245
00:50:18,627 --> 00:50:20,295
Yeah.
Hmph.

1246
00:50:22,530 --> 00:50:25,634
Of course, if...
If she is taking a bath,

1247
00:50:25,701 --> 00:50:28,970
it... heh... naturally it'd be
without anything on.

1248
00:50:55,864 --> 00:50:59,968
I mean... heh,
it just stands to reason.

1249
00:51:00,035 --> 00:51:01,069
Doesn't it?

1250
00:51:01,136 --> 00:51:03,739
What stands to reason?

1251
00:51:03,805 --> 00:51:07,943
That she'd be doing it
without anything on.

1252
00:51:08,009 --> 00:51:11,412
Well, people have been
known to...

1253
00:51:11,479 --> 00:51:13,248
Well, how would I know?!

1254
00:51:13,314 --> 00:51:15,216
How would you know?

1255
00:51:15,283 --> 00:51:16,384
Don't you ever look?

1256
00:51:16,451 --> 00:51:17,452
Well...

1257
00:51:17,518 --> 00:51:18,687
Don't you even...
even care?

1258
00:51:18,754 --> 00:51:20,388
Well, sure...
Whoo!

1259
00:51:20,455 --> 00:51:21,556
I would.

1260
00:51:21,623 --> 00:51:22,734
You seem to forget
that we were married

1261
00:51:22,758 --> 00:51:24,793
only minutes
before the lift-off.

1262
00:51:24,860 --> 00:51:28,529
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I forgot.

1263
00:51:28,596 --> 00:51:32,367
But even so,
I just naturally assumed...

1264
00:51:32,433 --> 00:51:34,335
You assume what?

1265
00:51:34,402 --> 00:51:36,738
Oh, really, Mattemore.

1266
00:51:36,805 --> 00:51:40,642
Even if you two had jumped
the gun a little bit,

1267
00:51:40,709 --> 00:51:44,880
this isn't 1960 is it?

1268
00:51:47,082 --> 00:51:50,752
Maybe she's
one of those girls

1269
00:51:50,819 --> 00:51:54,823
who soaps herself all over.

1270
00:51:54,890 --> 00:51:58,393
And then gets
into the tub.

1271
00:51:58,459 --> 00:51:59,560
Well, uh...

1272
00:51:59,627 --> 00:52:01,396
Oh, shut up!

1273
00:52:01,462 --> 00:52:02,363
Well, I didn't
mean anything...

1274
00:52:02,430 --> 00:52:03,430
Oh...

1275
00:52:03,464 --> 00:52:04,833
Oh, you're talking
to him.

1276
00:52:04,900 --> 00:52:08,069
Well, I'm terribly sorry
I took so long.

1277
00:52:08,136 --> 00:52:10,371
Ohh...

1278
00:52:10,438 --> 00:52:13,008
You know, I know this is going
to sound very silly to you,

1279
00:52:13,074 --> 00:52:15,944
but I usually
soap myself all over

1280
00:52:16,011 --> 00:52:17,679
before I get into the tub.

1281
00:52:17,746 --> 00:52:20,015
Honey, you don't have
to make any explanation.

1282
00:52:20,081 --> 00:52:23,351
We... we were talking
about... a man's wife...

1283
00:52:23,418 --> 00:52:25,053
No, Schmid...
No, Schmidlapp!

1284
00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:26,654
That's my wife!

1285
00:52:26,722 --> 00:52:28,623
That's all right, I'll take
care of Schmidlapp!

1286
00:52:28,690 --> 00:52:30,726
You better take care
of him, because...

1287
00:52:30,792 --> 00:52:32,327
Schmidlapp!

1288
00:52:32,393 --> 00:52:34,429
Schmidlapp!

1289
00:52:34,495 --> 00:52:36,197
Schmidlapp!

1290
00:52:36,264 --> 00:52:38,934
All right, Mattemore,

1291
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,737
if you care anything
about that girl at all,

1292
00:52:41,803 --> 00:52:43,304
protect her!

1293
00:52:45,741 --> 00:52:46,808
Schmidlapp,

1294
00:52:46,875 --> 00:52:48,977
just, uh, hold it there
for a few...

1295
00:52:49,044 --> 00:52:50,912
Whoa!

1296
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:55,283
Mm... mm.

1297
00:52:55,350 --> 00:52:57,719
Aah! She took a shower!

1298
00:52:57,786 --> 00:52:59,054
You better stop!

1299
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:00,355
Whoa! Whoa!

1300
00:53:00,421 --> 00:53:03,258
A shower! Oh, listen,
what are you doing?

1301
00:53:03,324 --> 00:53:04,492
Oh, boy, this is...

1302
00:53:04,559 --> 00:53:07,262
Oh, shut up,
Schmidlapp!

1303
00:53:07,328 --> 00:53:09,898
Let me go, I just
wanted to talk to her.

1304
00:53:09,965 --> 00:53:14,102
I'm warning you for
the last time, shut up!

1305
00:53:14,169 --> 00:53:17,172
I'll think of something.
I'll get you for this.

1306
00:53:17,238 --> 00:53:19,474
Oh, you... ha ha ha!

1307
00:53:19,540 --> 00:53:20,909
When you do untie him?

1308
00:53:20,976 --> 00:53:22,653
When I rendezvous with
deuce in the main ship

1309
00:53:22,677 --> 00:53:23,678
and get some help.

1310
00:53:23,745 --> 00:53:25,747
Nothing's gonna help you,
Hoffman!

1311
00:53:25,814 --> 00:53:27,482
You no good...

1312
00:53:34,222 --> 00:53:36,157
What happens
when Schmidlapp gets back

1313
00:53:36,224 --> 00:53:37,926
and there's girls
all over the place?

1314
00:53:37,993 --> 00:53:39,294
Oh, I don't know.

1315
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:40,829
I honestly don't know.

1316
00:53:40,896 --> 00:53:43,832
If I just get him to go
back to divinity school.

1317
00:53:45,901 --> 00:53:48,837
Well, well...

1318
00:53:48,904 --> 00:53:50,571
Hold on to him,
Mattemore.

1319
00:53:50,638 --> 00:53:52,974
You all right, Schmid?
Schmidlapp!

1320
00:53:53,041 --> 00:53:54,876
All right, bring him up,
Mattemore.

1321
00:53:54,943 --> 00:53:57,012
Right. You okay, Schmidy?

1322
00:53:58,179 --> 00:53:59,747
Let me give you a hand,
Schmidlapp.

1323
00:53:59,815 --> 00:54:01,449
Up you go.

1324
00:54:01,516 --> 00:54:03,584
That's it.

1325
00:54:03,651 --> 00:54:05,286
In you go, Schmidlapp.

1326
00:54:16,631 --> 00:54:17,966
Watch it.

1327
00:54:26,641 --> 00:54:28,576
I've got him,
Mattemore!

1328
00:54:28,643 --> 00:54:31,346
Take care, Hoffman.
Good luck.

1329
00:54:31,412 --> 00:54:32,747
Good luck, Mattemore.

1330
00:54:32,814 --> 00:54:34,983
So long.

1331
00:55:17,092 --> 00:55:20,896
Well, there they go.

1332
00:55:22,363 --> 00:55:24,599
Yeah, and, uh...

1333
00:55:24,665 --> 00:55:27,368
We're all alone
up here now.

1334
00:55:41,249 --> 00:55:43,051
Tired?

1335
00:55:43,118 --> 00:55:46,121
Yeah, kinda.
Can't remember

1336
00:55:46,187 --> 00:55:48,089
the last time
we had any sleep.

1337
00:55:48,156 --> 00:55:50,791
Well, uh, it was
72 hours ago.

1338
00:55:50,858 --> 00:55:52,627
Heh, it would be
a good idea

1339
00:55:52,693 --> 00:55:54,395
to go to bed,
don't you think?

1340
00:55:54,462 --> 00:55:56,797
Oh! Now wait a minute!

1341
00:55:56,864 --> 00:55:58,733
What do you
mean by that?

1342
00:55:58,799 --> 00:56:02,170
Nothing... except
what I said.

1343
00:56:02,237 --> 00:56:04,605
It would be a good idea
to go to sleep.

1344
00:56:04,672 --> 00:56:06,975
After 72 hours,
you're sleepy,

1345
00:56:07,042 --> 00:56:10,979
and the best thing
for that is... getting some.

1346
00:56:11,712 --> 00:56:13,648
Oh.

1347
00:56:13,714 --> 00:56:15,450
Yeah. I'm sorry,
Peter.

1348
00:56:15,516 --> 00:56:17,418
I don't know what's
the matter with me.

1349
00:56:17,485 --> 00:56:18,653
You know, it's not

1350
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:19,730
the things
you say so much,

1351
00:56:19,754 --> 00:56:21,056
it's... sometimes
you have

1352
00:56:21,122 --> 00:56:22,790
a very peculiar way
of saying them.

1353
00:56:22,857 --> 00:56:25,060
Eileen, what's so peculiar

1354
00:56:25,126 --> 00:56:27,996
about after 72 hours
without any sleep

1355
00:56:28,063 --> 00:56:30,298
to want to go to bed
and get some?

1356
00:56:30,365 --> 00:56:33,668
All right, I said
I was sorry, didn't I?

1357
00:56:33,734 --> 00:56:35,470
I'm getting
undressed!

1358
00:56:35,536 --> 00:56:36,537
Mmm.

1359
00:56:36,604 --> 00:56:38,173
Hey, do you mind?!

1360
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:40,041
Hey, I just wanna
brush my teeth!

1361
00:56:40,108 --> 00:56:41,409
Oh, I'll bet!

1362
00:56:41,476 --> 00:56:43,578
Well, if that sounds
overly sexy,

1363
00:56:43,644 --> 00:56:46,014
than I'm dead every time
I ask for a drink of water

1364
00:56:46,081 --> 00:56:47,715
or the time of day.

1365
00:56:47,782 --> 00:56:49,985
Listen, Mr...
Mattemore!

1366
00:56:50,051 --> 00:56:51,386
I know your name!

1367
00:56:51,452 --> 00:56:52,353
Well, then use it!

1368
00:56:52,420 --> 00:56:53,989
Listen, Mr. Mattemore,
I don't happen

1369
00:56:54,055 --> 00:56:55,623
to think anything
you do or say

1370
00:56:55,690 --> 00:56:56,824
is particularly
sexy.

1371
00:56:56,891 --> 00:56:58,693
Now, what do you think
about that? Ha!

1372
00:56:58,759 --> 00:56:59,794
Yeah, well, you know

1373
00:56:59,860 --> 00:57:01,038
what the trouble
with you is, honey?

1374
00:57:01,062 --> 00:57:03,364
No, honey, what's
the trouble with me?

1375
00:57:03,431 --> 00:57:04,732
You're always
ready to say no

1376
00:57:04,799 --> 00:57:06,567
before anybody asks you!

1377
00:57:06,634 --> 00:57:07,835
Ahh!

1378
00:57:07,902 --> 00:57:09,437
Oh, is that
the trouble with me,

1379
00:57:09,504 --> 00:57:10,371
huh, honey?

1380
00:57:10,438 --> 00:57:11,306
Imagine that!

1381
00:57:11,372 --> 00:57:12,612
Imagine that!

1382
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:13,441
Oh, is that the trouble
with me? Imagine that!

1383
00:57:13,508 --> 00:57:14,976
Oh, is that the trouble
with me?

1384
00:57:15,043 --> 00:57:16,087
Yeah, that's
the trouble with you!

1385
00:57:16,111 --> 00:57:18,113
Before anybody asks ya!

 

1386
00:00:08,590 --> 00:00:11,893
On my honeymoon.
Newlywed.

1387
00:00:57,005 --> 00:00:58,840
Incidentally,
I'm curious to know

1388
00:00:58,907 --> 00:01:00,441
just exactly
what your stand

1389
00:01:00,508 --> 00:01:01,810
on civil rights
really is,

1390
00:01:01,877 --> 00:01:02,878
Senator Astongrapple.

1391
00:01:02,944 --> 00:01:04,613
Well, you know very well
what my stand

1392
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:06,414
on civil rights is, sir.

1393
00:01:06,481 --> 00:01:08,049
I'm for civil rights.

1394
00:01:08,116 --> 00:01:11,052
I've always been
for civil rights.

1395
00:01:11,119 --> 00:01:14,455
It's just that we don't
like to be rushed

1396
00:01:14,522 --> 00:01:17,192
and hurried into
these things.

1397
00:01:17,258 --> 00:01:20,361
All we're asking for is
just a little bit of time!

1398
00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:21,563
I'm sorry, senator,

1399
00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:23,064
your time
has run out.

1400
00:01:23,131 --> 00:01:24,900
Next week on
Washington interview,

1401
00:01:24,966 --> 00:01:26,401
elder statesman
Richard M. Nixon

1402
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:27,507
will come
out of retirement

1403
00:01:27,569 --> 00:01:29,771
to answer questions
on what can be done

1404
00:01:29,838 --> 00:01:32,708
to reunite the
republican party.

1405
00:01:32,774 --> 00:01:34,542
Thank you very much,
senator Pappenapple.

1406
00:01:34,610 --> 00:01:36,544
Astongrapple.

1407
00:01:36,612 --> 00:01:38,213
I.J. Astongrapple.

1408
00:01:38,279 --> 00:01:40,281
Sorry about that.

1409
00:02:03,238 --> 00:02:05,540
Do you... ooh!
Was it you?

1410
00:02:05,607 --> 00:02:07,008
No! I thought
it was you!

1411
00:02:07,075 --> 00:02:09,110
No. Maybe it's
coming from there.

1412
00:02:09,177 --> 00:02:10,211
I don't think so.

1413
00:02:10,278 --> 00:02:11,379
I think it's
out there.

1414
00:02:11,446 --> 00:02:12,590
I thought it was
coming from there.

1415
00:02:12,614 --> 00:02:13,614
That's why I...

1416
00:02:13,649 --> 00:02:14,683
Go see what it is.

1417
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:15,917
Yeah, I'm gonna find out,

1418
00:02:15,984 --> 00:02:17,686
because when I heard
the knock, uh...

1419
00:02:17,753 --> 00:02:18,754
Come on, Peter.

1420
00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:19,897
All right, Eileen,
don't push.

1421
00:02:19,921 --> 00:02:21,165
You know, you're
supposed to be the man

1422
00:02:21,189 --> 00:02:22,423
on this expedition!

1423
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:23,635
I am the man!
Just relax and go...

1424
00:02:23,659 --> 00:02:24,693
See what it is!

1425
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,094
All right, stop being
so nervous!

1426
00:02:26,161 --> 00:02:27,362
Relax!

1427
00:02:27,428 --> 00:02:28,930
Relax?!

1428
00:02:30,031 --> 00:02:30,866
What is it?

1429
00:02:30,932 --> 00:02:31,976
It's a figure
in a space suit.

1430
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,635
Well, what's it
doing?

1431
00:02:35,971 --> 00:02:37,639
It's waving and knocking.

1432
00:02:37,706 --> 00:02:39,340
What does it want?

1433
00:02:39,407 --> 00:02:40,508
It wants to come in!

1434
00:02:40,575 --> 00:02:41,777
Yeah?

1435
00:02:41,843 --> 00:02:43,211
Well, let's let it in.

1436
00:02:43,278 --> 00:02:45,046
Okay.

1437
00:02:45,113 --> 00:02:46,414
No!
What?

1438
00:02:46,481 --> 00:02:47,582
It's Schmidlapp.

1439
00:02:47,649 --> 00:02:48,760
He's killed Hoffman,
and he's back!

1440
00:02:48,784 --> 00:02:51,352
No, I don't think so.

1441
00:02:51,419 --> 00:02:52,520
It's too big.

1442
00:02:52,587 --> 00:02:53,755
Yeah?

1443
00:02:53,822 --> 00:02:54,956
We better let it in
and see.

1444
00:02:55,023 --> 00:02:56,391
Okay.

1445
00:02:56,457 --> 00:02:57,826
Push the button,
Peter.

1446
00:02:57,893 --> 00:03:00,528
Well, you get me so nervous,
I don't know what to do.

1447
00:03:00,595 --> 00:03:02,263
Is it in?

1448
00:03:02,330 --> 00:03:03,330
Not yet.

1449
00:03:03,364 --> 00:03:04,733
Now it's in.
Oh!

1450
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,701
Give me your gun.

1451
00:03:05,767 --> 00:03:07,268
I don't have a gun!

1452
00:03:07,335 --> 00:03:08,469
That makes 2 of us.

1453
00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:09,747
Get something
to protect us in case.

1454
00:03:09,771 --> 00:03:10,706
Yeah? What...

1455
00:03:10,772 --> 00:03:11,940
Find something.

1456
00:03:12,007 --> 00:03:13,942
Hey, Peter. Is this okay?

1457
00:03:14,009 --> 00:03:16,311
Fine.

1458
00:03:16,377 --> 00:03:17,412
Peter, would you...

1459
00:03:17,478 --> 00:03:19,114
All right, now,
just relax!

1460
00:03:19,180 --> 00:03:20,181
My hero husband!

1461
00:03:20,248 --> 00:03:22,183
All right. Hmm.

1462
00:03:22,250 --> 00:03:24,853
Just cool it.

1463
00:03:33,461 --> 00:03:34,930
Hello.

1464
00:03:37,365 --> 00:03:38,734
Hello.

1465
00:03:55,683 --> 00:03:58,854
I'm Anna Soblova.
And you?

1466
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,122
Peter Mattemore.

1467
00:04:01,189 --> 00:04:03,024
Peter.

1468
00:04:03,091 --> 00:04:04,292
Uh-huh.

1469
00:04:04,359 --> 00:04:05,426
Peter!

1470
00:04:05,493 --> 00:04:07,062
Uh-huh.

1471
00:04:07,128 --> 00:04:08,128
Peter!

1472
00:04:08,163 --> 00:04:08,997
That's my wife.

1473
00:04:09,064 --> 00:04:11,266
I'm his wife,
Mrs. Mattemore.

1474
00:04:11,332 --> 00:04:12,332
How do you do?

1475
00:04:12,367 --> 00:04:13,601
How do you do?

1476
00:04:13,668 --> 00:04:15,570
I'm Anna Soblova.

1477
00:04:15,636 --> 00:04:16,671
Yes, we know.

1478
00:04:16,738 --> 00:04:17,738
The Russian
cosmonaut.

1479
00:04:17,773 --> 00:04:18,840
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.

1480
00:04:18,907 --> 00:04:21,242
From a little town
outside of Moscow.

1481
00:04:21,309 --> 00:04:22,309
Hmm.

1482
00:04:22,343 --> 00:04:23,578
Oh, how nice.

1483
00:04:23,644 --> 00:04:25,981
Say, wouldn't you
like to sit down?

1484
00:04:26,047 --> 00:04:27,282
Yeah.

1485
00:04:27,348 --> 00:04:28,383
Right over here.

1486
00:04:28,449 --> 00:04:30,618
Thank you.
I came right over

1487
00:04:30,685 --> 00:04:33,388
as soon I saw those
other two leaving.

1488
00:04:33,454 --> 00:04:35,256
Oh, you must be
the girl

1489
00:04:35,323 --> 00:04:37,158
that Schmidlapp
attacked last week.

1490
00:04:37,225 --> 00:04:39,761
Oh, yes, he was always
attacking me.

1491
00:04:39,828 --> 00:04:42,898
I came over for a cup
of coffee, attack.

1492
00:04:42,964 --> 00:04:44,866
I go outside
for a few minutes,

1493
00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:47,102
another attack.

1494
00:04:47,168 --> 00:04:49,504
Oh, you don't how wonderful
it's going to be

1495
00:04:49,570 --> 00:04:50,839
to have another girl
up here

1496
00:04:50,906 --> 00:04:53,641
to kind of...
Share the load? Ha ha.

1497
00:04:53,708 --> 00:04:54,709
Ha!

1498
00:04:56,677 --> 00:04:59,114
I came over
to get acquainted

1499
00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:01,016
and also to ask
a little favor.

1500
00:05:01,082 --> 00:05:02,851
What are neighbors for?

1501
00:05:02,918 --> 00:05:05,821
I wondered if you'd mind
if I spent the night here?

1502
00:05:07,322 --> 00:05:09,157
Spend the night?

1503
00:05:09,224 --> 00:05:11,292
Well, yes, you see,
Igor and I

1504
00:05:11,359 --> 00:05:12,160
had a little fight,

1505
00:05:12,227 --> 00:05:14,462
and I'd like to teach him
a lesson.

1506
00:05:14,529 --> 00:05:17,565
Igor just can't stand
to sleep alone at night.

1507
00:05:17,632 --> 00:05:20,668
He's going to go crazy!
Ha ha ha!

1508
00:05:20,735 --> 00:05:22,703
I see.

1509
00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:24,405
Igor's like a bull.

1510
00:05:24,472 --> 00:05:27,275
He's bad enough during
the 14 days of daylight,

1511
00:05:27,342 --> 00:05:31,046
but now, at the beginning
of 14 days of nights...

1512
00:05:31,112 --> 00:05:33,614
I see.

1513
00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:35,183
Naturally, we're
looking forward

1514
00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:37,018
to meeting your
husband, aren't we?

1515
00:05:37,085 --> 00:05:38,719
Oh, that's what
neighbors are for.

1516
00:05:38,786 --> 00:05:39,787
Who?

1517
00:05:39,855 --> 00:05:40,889
Your husband.

1518
00:05:40,956 --> 00:05:43,291
Oh, you must mean Igor.

1519
00:05:43,358 --> 00:05:45,026
He's not my husband.

1520
00:05:45,093 --> 00:05:47,595
He's just a man
they sent me up here with.

1521
00:05:47,662 --> 00:05:49,664
Oh, I see.

1522
00:05:49,730 --> 00:05:51,566
Ha, we hardly
knew each other

1523
00:05:51,632 --> 00:05:52,901
till the day we got here.

1524
00:05:52,968 --> 00:05:55,503
But fortunately, Igor is
very easy to know.

1525
00:05:55,570 --> 00:05:56,771
Ha ha.

1526
00:05:58,974 --> 00:06:01,809
It must seem rather strange
for you Americans.

1527
00:06:01,877 --> 00:06:04,880
I mean, uh, Igor and I
not being married.

1528
00:06:06,047 --> 00:06:08,216
Uh, strange?
No, on the contrary.

1529
00:06:08,283 --> 00:06:09,717
I think it's very
sophisticated.

1530
00:06:09,784 --> 00:06:11,586
Don't you think it's
sophisticated, Eileen?

1531
00:06:11,652 --> 00:06:13,154
Yes, it's very
sophisticated.

1532
00:06:13,221 --> 00:06:14,856
She thinks it's
sophisticated, too.

1533
00:06:14,923 --> 00:06:17,292
Well, I guess it's
the way you were brought up.

1534
00:06:17,358 --> 00:06:20,628
Ha ha. My mother was
never married, you know.

1535
00:06:20,695 --> 00:06:21,863
She wasn't?

1536
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:23,598
No, but my father was.

1537
00:06:23,664 --> 00:06:24,665
Oh.

1538
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,734
But not to my mother.

1539
00:06:27,903 --> 00:06:30,005
Well, that's what
neighbors are for.

1540
00:06:30,071 --> 00:06:30,939
See, the mother
and the father,

1541
00:06:31,006 --> 00:06:32,307
except that they...

1542
00:06:32,373 --> 00:06:34,051
I hope you don't think
I'm rude or anything,

1543
00:06:34,075 --> 00:06:35,676
but, you know, we
haven't had any sleep

1544
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:37,012
for about 3 days now,

1545
00:06:37,078 --> 00:06:38,355
and we were just
about to go to bed

1546
00:06:38,379 --> 00:06:39,314
when you came.

1547
00:06:39,380 --> 00:06:42,217
Oh, that's all right.
You go right ahead.

1548
00:06:42,283 --> 00:06:45,186
Um, okay. Well,
uh, I guess

1549
00:06:45,253 --> 00:06:46,687
you can sleep
in there with me.

1550
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:49,424
Sleep with you?
On your honeymoon?

1551
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:52,060
Oh, I would never think
of a thing like that.

1552
00:06:52,127 --> 00:06:53,561
I'm glad you didn't...

1553
00:06:53,628 --> 00:06:54,529
I bet you wouldn't
do that.

1554
00:06:54,595 --> 00:06:55,931
You can bet I wouldn't.

1555
00:06:55,997 --> 00:06:57,532
I... well, I mean...

1556
00:06:57,598 --> 00:07:01,769
Igor and I would never
hear of such nonsense.

1557
00:07:04,439 --> 00:07:06,674
Well, don't give me
another thought.

1558
00:07:06,741 --> 00:07:08,409
I sleep right here
on the couch.

1559
00:07:08,476 --> 00:07:09,945
You see, I even brought
my nightie.

1560
00:07:10,011 --> 00:07:11,947
Here, you like it?

1561
00:07:12,013 --> 00:07:14,015
You got this
in Moscow?

1562
00:07:14,082 --> 00:07:16,184
Igor did.
He got me 6.

1563
00:07:16,251 --> 00:07:18,286
I had a hunch
Igor had something to do

1564
00:07:18,353 --> 00:07:20,655
with buying that.
Ha ha ha.

1565
00:07:20,721 --> 00:07:22,890
Well...

1566
00:07:22,958 --> 00:07:25,626
I'll get you the
blankets and pillow.

1567
00:07:26,761 --> 00:07:28,196
By the way,

1568
00:07:28,263 --> 00:07:30,731
how many blankets would
you like, one or two?

1569
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:33,068
Oh, just a pillow, please.

1570
00:07:44,012 --> 00:07:46,914
Uh, so your, uh...

1571
00:07:46,982 --> 00:07:48,749
Your father and mother
were not married?

1572
00:07:50,251 --> 00:07:51,953
Peter?

1573
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:54,489
Well, uh...

1574
00:07:54,555 --> 00:07:56,357
Here's your pillow.

1575
00:07:56,424 --> 00:07:58,659
Thank you.

1576
00:07:58,726 --> 00:07:59,794
Isn't that comfy?

1577
00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:00,860
Oh, very.

1578
00:08:00,895 --> 00:08:01,829
Good night.

1579
00:08:01,896 --> 00:08:03,731
Good night.

1580
00:08:03,798 --> 00:08:05,433
Coming, Peter?

1581
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:06,767
Oh, yes.

1582
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,079
If there's anything,
anything at all

1583
00:08:08,103 --> 00:08:09,237
you might want...

1584
00:08:09,304 --> 00:08:10,571
Peter!

1585
00:08:10,638 --> 00:08:11,672
I'll be right here.

1586
00:08:11,739 --> 00:08:12,907
Just don't
hesitate to call.

1587
00:08:12,974 --> 00:08:14,909
As I said, if there's
anything at all...

1588
00:08:14,976 --> 00:08:15,977
Will you close the door?

1589
00:08:16,044 --> 00:08:18,579
Yeah, all right.

1590
00:08:18,646 --> 00:08:20,248
Both of them!

1591
00:08:20,315 --> 00:08:21,449
Oh.

1592
00:08:22,650 --> 00:08:24,052
Oh, boy.

1593
00:08:24,119 --> 00:08:26,721
Well, it's just like
Mr. Quonset said it would be.

1594
00:08:26,787 --> 00:08:30,258
Just 2 scientists off on
a scientific expedition, huh?

1595
00:08:30,325 --> 00:08:32,093
Well, this is
the nuttiest expedition

1596
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,229
I've ever been on
in my life.

1597
00:08:34,295 --> 00:08:38,299
240,000 miles away
from any place, anywhere.

1598
00:08:38,366 --> 00:08:40,335
And what do we have
the first night?

1599
00:08:40,401 --> 00:08:42,070
Company. Hmm.

1600
00:08:42,137 --> 00:08:46,574
Well, come on, Peter,
come to bed.

1601
00:08:46,641 --> 00:08:48,076
Come to bed?

1602
00:08:48,143 --> 00:08:50,911
Sure. Why fight it?

1603
00:08:50,978 --> 00:08:52,980
I have a feeling
that destiny

1604
00:08:53,048 --> 00:08:56,517
has been conspiring
against me for ages.

1605
00:09:01,022 --> 00:09:03,658
Peter! Take
your shoes off!

1606
00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:06,061
Yeah, I did forget.

1607
00:09:06,127 --> 00:09:08,129
All right. I'll get
in bed, Eileen,

1608
00:09:08,196 --> 00:09:10,174
but I haven't forgotten
that I made a deal with you.

1609
00:09:10,198 --> 00:09:11,999
I mean, that I gave you
my word. I promised.

1610
00:09:12,067 --> 00:09:13,201
We have an agreement,

1611
00:09:13,268 --> 00:09:14,911
so I'm gonna sleep
in between the blankets.

1612
00:09:14,935 --> 00:09:16,504
I'm not getting
under the sheets.

1613
00:09:16,571 --> 00:09:19,874
Because when I give
my word, that's it.

1614
00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:22,443
A promise is a promise.

1615
00:09:22,510 --> 00:09:26,314
I like to keep my word
when I... give it to somebody,

1616
00:09:26,381 --> 00:09:28,849
and... you know, that way,
you have a reputation

1617
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,918
of being honorable.

1618
00:09:33,221 --> 00:09:34,822
Well, now,
you don't think

1619
00:09:34,889 --> 00:09:36,357
that's gonna work,
do you?

1620
00:09:36,424 --> 00:09:38,293
No, sir.

1621
00:09:38,359 --> 00:09:41,162
This whole thing
has been preordained!

1622
00:09:41,229 --> 00:09:43,664
From the very
first minute

1623
00:09:43,731 --> 00:09:45,600
in the early 1920's,

1624
00:09:45,666 --> 00:09:48,069
when professor Goddard
started experimenting

1625
00:09:48,136 --> 00:09:50,371
with those
little tiny rockets,

1626
00:09:50,438 --> 00:09:53,208
way out there in
the new Mexico desert,

1627
00:09:53,274 --> 00:09:55,410
he was already
setting in motion

1628
00:09:55,476 --> 00:09:57,778
the events that are
about to take place

1629
00:09:57,845 --> 00:10:01,082
in this particular bed

1630
00:10:01,149 --> 00:10:03,951
on this
particular night.

1631
00:10:04,018 --> 00:10:07,588
So what's the use
of anything, Peter?

1632
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:11,459
After all, this is only
the first night.

1633
00:10:11,526 --> 00:10:14,395
I still have
364 more to go.

1634
00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:17,365
One puny little girl

1635
00:10:17,432 --> 00:10:20,401
against the entire
universe?

1636
00:10:21,936 --> 00:10:24,605
What I'm really
trying to say is...

1637
00:10:27,142 --> 00:10:29,744
Go ahead, Peter.

1638
00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:32,847
Take me. I'm yours.

1639
00:10:44,859 --> 00:10:46,794
Peter!

1640
00:10:48,696 --> 00:10:50,064
Oh!

1641
00:11:04,212 --> 00:11:05,446
What's a matter?

1642
00:11:05,513 --> 00:11:07,948
It's your crazy
Russian girlfriend.

1643
00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:09,550
Huh?

1644
00:11:09,617 --> 00:11:10,551
Come in.

1645
00:11:10,618 --> 00:11:11,618
Come in?

1646
00:11:12,853 --> 00:11:14,722
Guess who's here!

1647
00:11:14,789 --> 00:11:16,657
Uh, the Moiseyev
dancers.

1648
00:11:16,724 --> 00:11:18,058
No, it's Igor.

1649
00:11:18,125 --> 00:11:20,595
I knew he couldn't stand it
without me.

1650
00:11:20,661 --> 00:11:22,163
I can understand it.

1651
00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:25,400
You two might as well get up,
because I know Igor,

1652
00:11:25,466 --> 00:11:28,236
and I know exactly what
he's going to want to do.

1653
00:11:29,970 --> 00:11:31,272
What is...

1654
00:11:31,339 --> 00:11:33,374
Igor going
to want to do?

1655
00:11:33,441 --> 00:11:36,611
Oh, he wants to have a very
old-fashioned Russian party.

1656
00:11:36,677 --> 00:11:38,112
So hurry up now.

1657
00:11:38,179 --> 00:11:41,182
Ooh.

1658
00:11:41,249 --> 00:11:43,284
Do you know that if
somebody said to me,

1659
00:11:43,351 --> 00:11:44,819
"hey, you're going
to the moon,

1660
00:11:44,885 --> 00:11:46,086
"and when you
get there,

1661
00:11:46,153 --> 00:11:47,331
you can have
anything you wish."

1662
00:11:47,355 --> 00:11:48,623
You know
what I'd wish for?

1663
00:11:48,689 --> 00:11:50,858
Yeah. A good old-fashioned
Russian party.

1664
00:11:50,925 --> 00:11:51,826
You're right.

1665
00:11:51,892 --> 00:11:53,661
Well, thank heavens
I had a night's sleep.

1666
00:11:53,728 --> 00:11:56,297
After 8 hours, at least
you can go,

1667
00:11:56,364 --> 00:11:57,998
you feel like
you got some energy.

1668
00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,066
A party is good to go to

1669
00:11:59,133 --> 00:12:00,868
once you've really rested,
you know?

1670
00:12:00,935 --> 00:12:02,870
Mmm.

1671
00:12:04,038 --> 00:12:05,206
Peter!

1672
00:12:05,273 --> 00:12:06,874
Oh, at least another nap.

1673
00:12:23,658 --> 00:12:24,859
Oh.

1674
00:12:24,925 --> 00:12:26,294
Oh!

1675
00:12:31,632 --> 00:12:34,034
Oh, oh, oh!

1676
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:36,437
Oh, hey, oh, hey!

1677
00:13:11,639 --> 00:13:13,674
What are you,
a party pooper?

1678
00:13:13,741 --> 00:13:16,110
What are you,
a spoil sport?

1679
00:13:16,176 --> 00:13:18,012
No! I'm not
a spoil sport.

1680
00:13:18,078 --> 00:13:19,113
I just happen
to like

1681
00:13:19,179 --> 00:13:20,448
a little
American music, too.

1682
00:13:20,515 --> 00:13:24,552
Oh, I love
American music!

1683
00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:28,856
Whoo! Goldie!

1684
00:13:45,406 --> 00:13:47,174
Too close.

1685
00:13:47,241 --> 00:13:49,610
Not close enough.

1686
00:13:49,677 --> 00:13:53,180
Uh, you don't have
to get that close.

1687
00:13:53,247 --> 00:13:56,183
Just, uh...
Hey, that's my wife!

1688
00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:58,185
Whee! Ha ha ha.

1689
00:13:58,252 --> 00:14:00,254
Hello, Peter.

1690
00:14:00,321 --> 00:14:01,556
Hello.

1691
00:14:05,125 --> 00:14:08,028
That's his own...

1692
00:14:08,095 --> 00:14:09,330
It's wonderful.

1693
00:14:11,666 --> 00:14:13,167
We'll have to get
a refill.

1694
00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:15,135
Yes.

1695
00:14:15,202 --> 00:14:17,037
A refill of... Igor?

1696
00:14:17,104 --> 00:14:19,106
Yeah?
Igor?

1697
00:14:19,173 --> 00:14:20,107
We need...
What?

1698
00:14:20,174 --> 00:14:21,609
No more wet.

1699
00:14:21,676 --> 00:14:24,078
Don't give it
another thought.

1700
00:14:24,144 --> 00:14:27,047
Look, I have capsule.

1701
00:14:27,114 --> 00:14:30,685
You hold capsule,
I take bottle.

1702
00:14:30,751 --> 00:14:33,488
This will be another
Russian first,

1703
00:14:33,554 --> 00:14:34,898
and there's plenty more
where that came from.

1704
00:14:34,922 --> 00:14:37,792
Now, I have bottle.
You have capsule.

1705
00:14:37,858 --> 00:14:39,494
So, I take capsule.

1706
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:43,130
Now, I have capsule and
I have bottle, huh?

1707
00:14:43,197 --> 00:14:45,132
Good. Now,
I need funnel,

1708
00:14:45,199 --> 00:14:47,402
so you hold capsule.

1709
00:14:47,468 --> 00:14:50,738
I take funnel. I put
funnel in bottle.

1710
00:14:50,805 --> 00:14:55,810
I take capsule,
and now I need water.

1711
00:14:55,876 --> 00:14:57,578
So you hold bottle,

1712
00:14:57,645 --> 00:14:59,747
I take capsule
and water.

1713
00:14:59,814 --> 00:15:02,182
But I need bottle.
You hold capsule,

1714
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:03,551
I have bottle.

1715
00:15:03,618 --> 00:15:05,386
Now, I put water
in bottle.

1716
00:15:05,453 --> 00:15:07,688
You pour capsule. Ahh.

1717
00:15:07,755 --> 00:15:11,559
I mix it up,
put more water.

1718
00:15:11,626 --> 00:15:14,328
Say the magic words,
hunky, monkey, punky!

1719
00:15:14,395 --> 00:15:16,230
Vodka! Ha ha!

1720
00:15:16,296 --> 00:15:17,598
Vodka!

1721
00:15:17,665 --> 00:15:21,469
No, no, no! Don't drink
vodka with funnel!

1722
00:15:21,536 --> 00:15:23,103
What is the matter
with you?

1723
00:15:23,170 --> 00:15:24,439
You take the funnel
out of...

1724
00:15:25,973 --> 00:15:28,509
You got the funnel,
you funny man!

1725
00:15:28,576 --> 00:15:30,578
There. Drink
the vodka, drink it!

1726
00:15:30,645 --> 00:15:32,780
Love it, love
the vodka!

1727
00:15:32,847 --> 00:15:35,349
Ha ha, another
Russian first!

1728
00:15:35,416 --> 00:15:37,485
Drink to love!

1729
00:15:37,552 --> 00:15:38,653
Vodka!
Vodka!

1730
00:15:38,719 --> 00:15:39,887
Vodka!

1731
00:15:39,954 --> 00:15:42,056
Vodka!

1732
00:15:44,759 --> 00:15:46,393
What happened
to my vodka?

1733
00:15:46,461 --> 00:15:47,895
To your vodka?

1734
00:15:47,962 --> 00:15:49,029
Too much vodka!

1735
00:15:50,364 --> 00:15:51,999
Give me back my vodka.

1736
00:15:52,066 --> 00:15:54,802
My capsule. Your
capsule, right there.

1737
00:15:54,869 --> 00:15:58,205
Capsule. I have vodka
for anushka!

1738
00:15:58,272 --> 00:16:00,040
Give me your glass,
my darling.

1739
00:16:00,107 --> 00:16:02,242
Vodka. More vodka!

1740
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:04,044
Ah, 2 words,
my darling.

1741
00:16:04,111 --> 00:16:05,946
Ahh.

1742
00:16:09,349 --> 00:16:10,985
Anushka,

1743
00:16:11,051 --> 00:16:13,153
you're crying. Why?

1744
00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:15,255
Why are you crying?

1745
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:18,493
I'd just like to once...

1746
00:16:18,559 --> 00:16:21,228
What's that, dear,
what's that?

1747
00:16:21,295 --> 00:16:24,499
He got married to her.

1748
00:16:24,565 --> 00:16:27,668
Why can't you marry me?

1749
00:16:28,936 --> 00:16:30,838
Because...

1750
00:16:30,905 --> 00:16:34,208
Anushka, because we are
so happy this way.

1751
00:16:34,274 --> 00:16:36,811
Why take a chance?
Look at you.

1752
00:16:36,877 --> 00:16:40,180
You are so young
and so beautiful!

1753
00:16:40,247 --> 00:16:42,583
I am so young
and so beautiful.

1754
00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:45,219
Why... why should we
take a chance

1755
00:16:45,285 --> 00:16:47,321
to spoil
everything, huh?

1756
00:16:47,387 --> 00:16:49,790
It's not going
to spoil anything.

1757
00:16:49,857 --> 00:16:51,926
I just want
to get married!

1758
00:16:51,992 --> 00:16:54,495
But why, my love?
Why, why, why?

1759
00:16:54,562 --> 00:16:56,030
Why can't we get married?

1760
00:16:56,096 --> 00:16:59,466
Like I said, Anushka,
for 1,000 times,

1761
00:16:59,534 --> 00:17:00,801
I have told you,

1762
00:17:00,868 --> 00:17:03,270
we are both so young
and so beautiful!

1763
00:17:03,337 --> 00:17:04,839
I want to protect you.

1764
00:17:04,905 --> 00:17:07,875
It would be indecent
if we got married.

1765
00:17:07,942 --> 00:17:10,210
It's not for me,
it's for you. For you!

1766
00:17:10,277 --> 00:17:11,946
Because I love you.

1767
00:17:13,681 --> 00:17:15,716
You really are sweet, Igor.

1768
00:17:15,783 --> 00:17:17,585
That's right.
I am sweet.

1769
00:17:17,652 --> 00:17:19,620
And it is for you.

1770
00:17:19,687 --> 00:17:23,057
I am not thinking
of myself, my love.

1771
00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:27,828
Quiet. Quiet, everybody.

1772
00:17:27,895 --> 00:17:29,597
I'll get it.

1773
00:17:29,664 --> 00:17:32,667
That must be Quonset
from the home office.

1774
00:17:37,638 --> 00:17:39,306
Mattemore, my boy.

1775
00:17:39,373 --> 00:17:41,508
Oh, Quonset.

1776
00:17:41,576 --> 00:17:43,243
How's everything
on the third planet

1777
00:17:43,310 --> 00:17:44,712
from the sun?

1778
00:17:44,779 --> 00:17:46,313
Everything's fine
down here.

1779
00:17:46,380 --> 00:17:47,414
How are things up there?

1780
00:17:47,481 --> 00:17:49,183
Oh, fine, fine.

1781
00:17:49,249 --> 00:17:50,985
Everything's just fine.

1782
00:17:51,051 --> 00:17:53,554
All right, let's knock off
the pleasantries, Quonset.

1783
00:17:53,621 --> 00:17:55,022
Let's get down
to business.

1784
00:17:55,089 --> 00:17:56,323
What's on your mind?

1785
00:17:56,390 --> 00:17:57,625
You want
a weather report?

1786
00:17:57,692 --> 00:18:00,527
Never mind the report.
How is Mrs. Mattemore?

1787
00:18:01,495 --> 00:18:02,930
Out cold.

1788
00:18:02,997 --> 00:18:05,633
Well, don't wake her.
I'll only be a moment.

1789
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,668
I just want to tell you
what a relief it is

1790
00:18:07,735 --> 00:18:11,238
to have 2 responsible people
like you and Mrs. Mattemore

1791
00:18:11,305 --> 00:18:12,640
up there on the moon.

1792
00:18:12,707 --> 00:18:14,374
After that ghastly
year I had

1793
00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:15,943
with Schmidlapp and Hoffman.

1794
00:18:16,010 --> 00:18:19,346
Oh, yeah, those two
are really a couple of

1795
00:18:19,413 --> 00:18:20,948
hairy disaster areas,
weren't they?

1796
00:18:21,015 --> 00:18:21,882
Ha!

1797
00:18:21,949 --> 00:18:23,417
Well, let's forget
about them.

1798
00:18:23,483 --> 00:18:24,484
All right.

1799
00:18:24,551 --> 00:18:26,453
I'm planning
on having my first

1800
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,823
real night's sleep
for months.

1801
00:18:28,889 --> 00:18:32,226
You and Mrs. Mattemore
have my full confidence,

1802
00:18:32,292 --> 00:18:34,328
and I want you
to know that...

1803
00:18:36,664 --> 00:18:38,933
Yeah, go on, what's
the matter, Quonset?

1804
00:18:38,999 --> 00:18:41,836
Where did you say
Mrs. Mattemore was?

1805
00:18:41,902 --> 00:18:45,072
Out cold.
Limp as a dead cat.

1806
00:18:45,139 --> 00:18:46,473
Well, who was that?

1807
00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:48,175
Who was what?

1808
00:18:48,242 --> 00:18:50,778
Who was that who just
tip-toed across my screen?

1809
00:18:50,845 --> 00:18:53,113
Across your screen?

1810
00:18:53,180 --> 00:18:54,949
Somebody dressed
in a fairy's costume

1811
00:18:55,015 --> 00:18:57,584
just tip-toed
across my screen!

1812
00:18:57,652 --> 00:19:00,320
I'm sorry, I...
There she is again!

1813
00:19:03,423 --> 00:19:05,392
That isn't Mrs. Mattemore!

1814
00:19:05,459 --> 00:19:08,696
Who isn't
Mrs. Mattemore?

1815
00:19:08,763 --> 00:19:11,265
That half-naked fairy
isn't Mrs. Mattemore.

1816
00:19:11,331 --> 00:19:12,411
What have you done
with her?

1817
00:19:12,466 --> 00:19:14,434
Have you got her
tied up somewhere?

1818
00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:17,805
Tied up?
Just as we thought.

1819
00:19:17,872 --> 00:19:19,940
We always suspected
you had a little bottle

1820
00:19:20,007 --> 00:19:21,742
down in the drawer
of the desk, Quonset.

1821
00:19:21,809 --> 00:19:23,610
Been nippin'
a little, baby?

1822
00:19:23,678 --> 00:19:25,279
Don't give me that,
Mattemore!

1823
00:19:25,345 --> 00:19:27,682
I insist on seeing
your wife!

1824
00:19:29,016 --> 00:19:31,351
He wants to see
my wife, Mattemore.

1825
00:19:31,418 --> 00:19:32,953
No, I'm Mattemore.

1826
00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:35,022
Well, I just
sent for her,

1827
00:19:35,089 --> 00:19:37,524
so hold on
to your buttons.

1828
00:19:45,132 --> 00:19:47,234
Whoa-oah!

1829
00:19:47,301 --> 00:19:48,335
Holy moly!

1830
00:19:50,938 --> 00:19:52,472
What is
going on up there?

1831
00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:54,008
Oh, nothing, Quonset.

1832
00:19:54,074 --> 00:19:55,609
We were just having
a little, uh...

1833
00:19:55,676 --> 00:19:56,953
I know what you were
having a little of,

1834
00:19:56,977 --> 00:19:58,545
and I don't want
to hear about it.

1835
00:19:58,612 --> 00:20:00,080
I don't want
to hear about anything.

1836
00:20:00,147 --> 00:20:03,117
All I wanted was one
good night's sleep,

1837
00:20:03,183 --> 00:20:05,786
and I'm not gonna let you
spoil that for me, Mattemore.

1838
00:20:05,853 --> 00:20:07,822
I'm not gonna think about you
anymore tonight.

1839
00:20:07,888 --> 00:20:09,656
I'm going to think about you
in the morning.

1840
00:20:09,724 --> 00:20:13,460
I'm going to blot you
right out of my mind.

1841
00:20:16,196 --> 00:20:18,065
Hey!

1842
00:20:18,132 --> 00:20:21,501
Hey, you got your feet
all over my wife's legs.

1843
00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:25,372
A toast... to your
wife's... legs.

1844
00:20:25,439 --> 00:20:27,908
Oh, don't waste it, Igor.

1845
00:20:27,975 --> 00:20:29,810
I need a good stiff drink.

1846
00:20:29,877 --> 00:20:32,146
Every time I talk to Quonset
I get depressed.

1847
00:20:32,212 --> 00:20:33,580
I need a drink!

1848
00:20:33,647 --> 00:20:35,382
All gone.

1849
00:20:35,449 --> 00:20:38,018
What about the vodka?
Igor, you got more vodka...

1850
00:20:38,085 --> 00:20:41,021
One more vodka
coming right up! One!

1851
00:20:41,088 --> 00:20:42,222
More vodka.

1852
00:20:42,289 --> 00:20:46,026
And I know how to fix it.
I remember from last time.

1853
00:20:47,361 --> 00:20:50,030
That we... made the vodka.

1854
00:20:50,097 --> 00:20:53,433
You need the funnel, and...

1855
00:20:56,470 --> 00:20:59,239
Need the funnel.

1856
00:21:17,224 --> 00:21:20,360
Whoa-ho. Oh!

1857
00:21:21,428 --> 00:21:22,729
Oh!

1858
00:21:26,066 --> 00:21:27,334
Ooh.

1859
00:21:27,401 --> 00:21:29,303
Yay, Peter!

1860
00:21:29,369 --> 00:21:32,439
Peter! Oh, Peter!

1861
00:21:32,506 --> 00:21:35,142
My pal, my pal, Peter!

1862
00:21:35,209 --> 00:21:36,844
My pal, Peter!

1863
00:21:36,911 --> 00:21:41,248
That is the most magnificent
exhibition of drinking

1864
00:21:41,315 --> 00:21:45,152
I have ever seen!
One full quart

1865
00:21:45,219 --> 00:21:49,489
of 100 proof
Ukrainian vodka!

1866
00:21:49,556 --> 00:21:50,825
Muah! Muah!

1867
00:21:50,891 --> 00:21:52,960
If you live,

1868
00:21:53,027 --> 00:21:55,896
I shall see that you make
the cover of Pravda!

1869
00:21:55,963 --> 00:21:58,298
Pravda! I love... muah!

1870
00:21:58,365 --> 00:22:00,000
Ha ha!

1871
00:22:00,067 --> 00:22:01,101
Oh-ho!

1872
00:22:01,168 --> 00:22:03,503
You put your leg

1873
00:22:03,570 --> 00:22:05,605
on my wife's leg.

1874
00:22:05,672 --> 00:22:06,907
What?

1875
00:22:06,974 --> 00:22:10,477
You put your leg
on my wife's leg,

1876
00:22:10,544 --> 00:22:15,115
and, uh, we happen to frown
on that in America.

1877
00:22:15,182 --> 00:22:17,451
We don't have guys
putting their legs

1878
00:22:17,517 --> 00:22:20,520
on our wife's legs.

1879
00:22:24,825 --> 00:22:26,460
Hey, pal.

1880
00:22:26,526 --> 00:22:30,865
Don't do that.
Don't do that.

1881
00:22:30,931 --> 00:22:33,133
There's a lot
of things in America

1882
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,502
we frown on
that you Russians do.

1883
00:22:35,569 --> 00:22:37,337
Here.

1884
00:22:42,910 --> 00:22:45,880
Don't tell me about America.

1885
00:22:45,946 --> 00:22:48,849
I was a spy
in the Russian embassy

1886
00:22:48,916 --> 00:22:51,618
in Washington for 4 years.
How do you like that?

1887
00:22:51,685 --> 00:22:53,253
Ha ha, you admit it!

1888
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:54,922
Ha ha, that's right!
I was a spy!

1889
00:22:54,989 --> 00:22:56,290
I was a spy!

1890
00:22:56,356 --> 00:22:57,591
Ah, step outside.

1891
00:22:57,657 --> 00:22:59,026
What for?

1892
00:22:59,093 --> 00:23:01,128
In America, that's
how we settle things.

1893
00:23:01,195 --> 00:23:03,730
Okay, pal, we step outside.

1894
00:23:03,797 --> 00:23:05,565
Come, we go.

1895
00:23:05,632 --> 00:23:06,867
Peter, now listen to me.

1896
00:23:06,934 --> 00:23:08,835
I'm coming.

1897
00:23:08,903 --> 00:23:10,037
Peter!
Hmm?

1898
00:23:10,104 --> 00:23:11,405
What's the matter
with you?

1899
00:23:11,471 --> 00:23:12,839
Where are you going?

1900
00:23:12,907 --> 00:23:14,674
You've had too much
to drink, you know!

1901
00:23:14,741 --> 00:23:15,861
You just mind your business!

1902
00:23:15,910 --> 00:23:17,344
One thing I don't like
about wives

1903
00:23:17,411 --> 00:23:19,279
is buttin' in to their
husband's business.

1904
00:23:19,346 --> 00:23:22,349
Just mind it.
Just... mind it.

1905
00:23:23,417 --> 00:23:25,385
Ugh.

1906
00:23:26,753 --> 00:23:29,089
Oh-ho.

1907
00:23:29,156 --> 00:23:30,390
Hey.

1908
00:23:30,457 --> 00:23:33,660
It must be romantic
to have your husband

1909
00:23:33,727 --> 00:23:35,162
fight over you.

1910
00:23:35,229 --> 00:23:38,732
He must be quite a lot
in love with you.

1911
00:23:38,798 --> 00:23:42,236
He's just very much
drunk, that's all.

1912
00:24:14,668 --> 00:24:17,871
Whoa!

1913
00:24:17,938 --> 00:24:19,506
Ow!

1914
00:25:15,595 --> 00:25:16,830
Peter?

1915
00:25:16,896 --> 00:25:17,831
Hmm?

1916
00:25:17,897 --> 00:25:19,366
Peter?

1917
00:25:19,433 --> 00:25:20,367
Huh?

1918
00:25:20,434 --> 00:25:21,535
Hi.

1919
00:25:21,601 --> 00:25:23,037
Oh.
Here.

1920
00:25:23,103 --> 00:25:25,039
Oh, I don't want
to drink anything.

1921
00:25:25,105 --> 00:25:27,974
Please, don't give me
nothing to drink.

1922
00:25:28,042 --> 00:25:29,609
Where am I?

1923
00:25:29,676 --> 00:25:31,845
It's all right, Peter.
You're on the moon.

1924
00:25:31,911 --> 00:25:33,247
On the moon?

1925
00:25:33,313 --> 00:25:34,114
Uh-huh.

1926
00:25:34,181 --> 00:25:36,783
Oh, of course.
On the moon.

1927
00:25:36,850 --> 00:25:39,753
That stupid fight.

1928
00:25:39,819 --> 00:25:41,788
Is Igor all right?

1929
00:25:41,855 --> 00:25:43,990
Yes, he's fine.

1930
00:25:44,058 --> 00:25:45,259
Did I hurt him?

1931
00:25:45,325 --> 00:25:47,161
No, Peter,
you didn't hurt him.

1932
00:25:47,227 --> 00:25:50,264
Oh, where is he?
I'd like to apologize.

1933
00:25:50,330 --> 00:25:51,831
He left.

1934
00:25:51,898 --> 00:25:54,434
He left? When?

1935
00:25:54,501 --> 00:25:56,070
2 days ago.

1936
00:25:56,136 --> 00:25:57,737
2 days ago?

1937
00:25:57,804 --> 00:25:58,972
Mm-hmm.

1938
00:25:59,039 --> 00:26:01,575
I've been lying here
like this for 2 days?

1939
00:26:01,641 --> 00:26:02,942
Was it Igor when he...

1940
00:26:03,009 --> 00:26:05,079
No, it wasn't Igor.

1941
00:26:05,145 --> 00:26:08,348
It was one quart
of 100%, full proof,

1942
00:26:08,415 --> 00:26:10,650
instant Ukrainian vodka.
That's what.

1943
00:26:10,717 --> 00:26:11,818
Vodka.

1944
00:26:11,885 --> 00:26:12,919
You don't know

1945
00:26:12,986 --> 00:26:14,197
what a mess it's been
around here!

1946
00:26:14,221 --> 00:26:15,889
Everybody's gotten
into the act,

1947
00:26:15,955 --> 00:26:17,457
from the president
on down.

1948
00:26:17,524 --> 00:26:18,525
The president?

1949
00:26:18,592 --> 00:26:20,227
The president,
the vice-president,

1950
00:26:20,294 --> 00:26:22,028
even the speaker
of the house.

1951
00:26:22,096 --> 00:26:24,131
What about Mr. Quonset?

1952
00:26:24,198 --> 00:26:27,000
Ugh. He's been
the worst of all.

1953
00:26:27,067 --> 00:26:28,435
He's been on

1954
00:26:28,502 --> 00:26:30,270
that television set
constantly.

1955
00:26:30,337 --> 00:26:31,938
First, he wanted
to kill you,

1956
00:26:32,005 --> 00:26:33,507
and then he was afraid
you were dying.

1957
00:26:34,908 --> 00:26:36,243
Oh, well.

1958
00:26:36,310 --> 00:26:38,578
There he goes again.

1959
00:26:38,645 --> 00:26:39,813
Hmm?

1960
00:26:39,879 --> 00:26:41,481
You want me
to get it for you?

1961
00:26:41,548 --> 00:26:44,050
Yes, please.

1962
00:26:44,118 --> 00:26:47,053
I'm gonna have to face him
sooner or later.

1963
00:26:53,427 --> 00:26:55,229
Oh, it's you, Mattemore.

1964
00:26:55,295 --> 00:26:57,164
Go ahead, sir,
I've got it coming.

1965
00:26:57,231 --> 00:26:59,733
You certainly have,
Mattemore.

1966
00:26:59,799 --> 00:27:01,034
Did I miss anything

1967
00:27:01,101 --> 00:27:02,536
I should have
been covering?

1968
00:27:02,602 --> 00:27:03,837
No, nothing, no.

1969
00:27:03,903 --> 00:27:06,039
Just a typhoon in Okinawa,

1970
00:27:06,106 --> 00:27:07,941
a hurricane that nearly
wiped out

1971
00:27:08,007 --> 00:27:10,076
Florida and the east coast,

1972
00:27:10,144 --> 00:27:11,584
and the first blizzard
in the history

1973
00:27:11,611 --> 00:27:14,381
of Southern California,
but never mind that.

1974
00:27:14,448 --> 00:27:16,883
You in any condition
to take a top-level

1975
00:27:16,950 --> 00:27:19,586
emergency call from
General Hallenby

1976
00:27:19,653 --> 00:27:20,854
in Washington?

1977
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,123
General
howling bull Hallenby?

1978
00:27:23,190 --> 00:27:25,024
That's the one, Mattemore.

1979
00:27:25,091 --> 00:27:27,060
I'll put you through.

1980
00:27:28,162 --> 00:27:29,863
Mattemore.

1981
00:27:29,929 --> 00:27:31,265
Uh, yes, sir?

1982
00:27:31,331 --> 00:27:33,600
I believe you hold
a reserve commission

1983
00:27:33,667 --> 00:27:34,601
in the air force.

1984
00:27:34,668 --> 00:27:36,803
Uh, yes, sir.
Second lieutenant, sir.

1985
00:27:36,870 --> 00:27:39,673
Second lieutenant?
At your age?

1986
00:27:39,739 --> 00:27:41,241
Well, you know, what with

1987
00:27:41,308 --> 00:27:42,642
the politics
in the air force...

1988
00:27:42,709 --> 00:27:45,845
Heh heh. Well,
never mind about that.

1989
00:27:45,912 --> 00:27:48,014
Now, listen,
as of right now,

1990
00:27:48,081 --> 00:27:50,116
I'm recalling you
to active duty.

1991
00:27:50,184 --> 00:27:52,719
Uh, yes, sir.
Uh, when shall I report?

1992
00:27:52,786 --> 00:27:55,222
I mean, where... how will
I report, sir?

1993
00:27:55,289 --> 00:27:57,691
Don't ask
idiotic questions, lieutenant.

1994
00:27:57,757 --> 00:27:59,326
Just listen to me now.

1995
00:28:00,694 --> 00:28:02,262
Uh...

1996
00:28:02,329 --> 00:28:04,498
Now, then, Mattemore...

1997
00:28:04,564 --> 00:28:07,234
We just issued
an ultimatum

1998
00:28:07,301 --> 00:28:08,535
to the Russian government.

1999
00:28:08,602 --> 00:28:13,039
It's gonna expire in...
11 minutes.

2000
00:28:13,106 --> 00:28:15,141
Right now, the president
is standing by

2001
00:28:15,209 --> 00:28:16,576
on a hotline
to the Kremlin.

2002
00:28:16,643 --> 00:28:20,247
Uh, why do we issue
an ultimatum, sir?

2003
00:28:20,314 --> 00:28:22,416
That's none of your
damn business!

2004
00:28:23,817 --> 00:28:26,753
Well, on the other hand,
maybe it is your business.

2005
00:28:28,655 --> 00:28:30,824
Seeing as how you'd
probably be the first ones

2006
00:28:30,890 --> 00:28:33,593
to get wiped out.

2007
00:28:33,660 --> 00:28:35,495
Wiped out?

2008
00:28:35,562 --> 00:28:37,531
Well, you're sittin'
right there

2009
00:28:37,597 --> 00:28:40,066
in the most strategic spot
in the universe.

2010
00:28:40,133 --> 00:28:42,168
Heh heh. If I was
a Russian general,

2011
00:28:42,236 --> 00:28:44,404
I wouldn't think twice
about wiping you out.

2012
00:28:44,471 --> 00:28:47,374
Now, on the other hand...

2013
00:28:47,441 --> 00:28:48,675
On the other hand,
Mattemore,

2014
00:28:48,742 --> 00:28:50,009
you two might just be

2015
00:28:50,076 --> 00:28:51,611
the only living
survivors left

2016
00:28:51,678 --> 00:28:54,781
to carry on
the great American dream.

2017
00:28:54,848 --> 00:28:57,251
Think of that, Mattemore.

2018
00:28:57,317 --> 00:29:00,787
The only livin' survivors.

2019
00:29:00,854 --> 00:29:04,891
However, it's my opinion
you'll get wiped out, though.

2020
00:29:07,060 --> 00:29:09,363
Uh, may I respectfully
ask, sir,

2021
00:29:09,429 --> 00:29:11,865
the reason for all
this wiping out?

2022
00:29:11,931 --> 00:29:14,334
It's come to our attention

2023
00:29:14,401 --> 00:29:16,836
that there's recently been
a large undercover movement

2024
00:29:16,903 --> 00:29:20,774
of Russian men and supplies
into, uh... to, uh...

2025
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,642
What the hell's the name
of that place?

2026
00:29:22,709 --> 00:29:24,010
Uh...

2027
00:29:24,077 --> 00:29:26,313
Well, never mind what it is.
That's not important.

2028
00:29:26,380 --> 00:29:27,581
The important thing is

2029
00:29:27,647 --> 00:29:29,649
it's inside our sphere
of influence,

2030
00:29:29,716 --> 00:29:31,385
and we've issued
this ultimatum

2031
00:29:31,451 --> 00:29:33,491
to the Russian government...
Either get out of there

2032
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,822
or else explain their
presence within, uh,

2033
00:29:35,889 --> 00:29:37,491
9 minutes.

2034
00:29:38,925 --> 00:29:40,827
That's pretty hard
for me to believe, sir.

2035
00:29:40,894 --> 00:29:43,038
What do you mean
it's hard for you to believe?

2036
00:29:43,062 --> 00:29:44,197
I believe it. Look at me,

2037
00:29:44,264 --> 00:29:45,475
I'm sitting right here,
and I believe it.

2038
00:29:45,499 --> 00:29:48,335
I don't know what's a matter
with you, Mattemore!

2039
00:29:48,402 --> 00:29:51,305
Well, I'm sorry, sir.
What are my orders?

2040
00:29:51,371 --> 00:29:53,807
Uh, better.

2041
00:29:53,873 --> 00:29:55,409
Mattemore, your orders...

2042
00:29:55,475 --> 00:29:58,445
Your orders are...

2043
00:29:58,512 --> 00:30:01,014
Eh, secure the moon.

2044
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,317
Secure the moon, yes...

2045
00:30:03,383 --> 00:30:05,685
Secure the moon?
How do we do that?

2046
00:30:05,752 --> 00:30:07,354
What do you mean,
how do you do it?

2047
00:30:07,421 --> 00:30:09,556
You secure the moon,
that's what you do.

2048
00:30:09,623 --> 00:30:11,625
You got some Russians
up there, too, haven't you?

2049
00:30:11,691 --> 00:30:13,960
Well, yes, not many.
Just two, sir.

2050
00:30:14,027 --> 00:30:16,330
We had them over the other
night for a little party.

2051
00:30:17,531 --> 00:30:20,434
Had them over for a what?

2052
00:30:20,500 --> 00:30:22,969
Well, we were just having
a little get together,

2053
00:30:23,036 --> 00:30:24,738
and they just came in.

2054
00:30:24,804 --> 00:30:26,773
We couldn't very well
ask them to leave.

2055
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:30,577
You realize they probably
planted a bomb around there?

2056
00:30:30,644 --> 00:30:32,812
Now listen to me,
Mattemore!

2057
00:30:32,879 --> 00:30:34,714
If you don't hear from me
within 7 minutes,

2058
00:30:34,781 --> 00:30:38,117
that'll be it.
You understand?

2059
00:30:38,184 --> 00:30:40,320
Use your own judgment.

2060
00:30:40,387 --> 00:30:42,456
Dismissed.

2061
00:30:44,257 --> 00:30:46,460
Where in the hell's
the damn button?

2062
00:30:46,526 --> 00:30:48,395
The second one
from the top, sir.

2063
00:30:48,462 --> 00:30:50,897
Why in the hell
didn't you say so?

2064
00:30:53,232 --> 00:30:55,435
I don't care
what he says.

2065
00:30:55,502 --> 00:30:56,670
I don't
believe it.

2066
00:30:56,736 --> 00:30:58,271
Yeah, well, I made
the same mistake

2067
00:30:58,338 --> 00:30:59,473
a couple of minutes ago.

2068
00:30:59,539 --> 00:31:01,875
And you heard what
howling bull said.

2069
00:31:01,941 --> 00:31:03,176
You better believe it!

2070
00:31:03,242 --> 00:31:04,378
I don't care.

2071
00:31:04,444 --> 00:31:05,445
I just don't
think either

2072
00:31:05,512 --> 00:31:06,646
the Americans
or the Russians

2073
00:31:06,713 --> 00:31:07,947
are stupid
enough to start

2074
00:31:08,014 --> 00:31:09,248
anything
like that.

2075
00:31:09,315 --> 00:31:10,550
Well, you wouldn't
believe it

2076
00:31:10,617 --> 00:31:11,751
because you're a woman.

2077
00:31:11,818 --> 00:31:14,087
You haven't got
a military mind.

2078
00:31:14,153 --> 00:31:15,589
And we only have
6 minutes now.

2079
00:31:15,655 --> 00:31:16,732
Is there someone
you want to call,

2080
00:31:16,756 --> 00:31:18,792
like your mother
or your sister?

2081
00:31:18,858 --> 00:31:20,494
Mm-mmm. Not me.

2082
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,829
I'm the one that doesn't
believe it, remember?

2083
00:31:22,896 --> 00:31:24,296
Well, whether you
believe it or not,

2084
00:31:24,330 --> 00:31:26,800
let's knock off the talking
and get going.

2085
00:31:34,107 --> 00:31:35,542
There's Igor.

2086
00:31:39,178 --> 00:31:41,114
Hi, Igor.

2087
00:31:41,180 --> 00:31:42,816
Come on in.

2088
00:31:46,420 --> 00:31:47,954
I'm pretending
to be friendly

2089
00:31:48,021 --> 00:31:51,691
just to egg him on.
Come on in, Igor.

2090
00:31:54,861 --> 00:31:57,063
I've gotta find something
to belt that Russian with.

2091
00:31:57,130 --> 00:31:58,398
Peter!

2092
00:31:58,465 --> 00:32:00,867
I'll bet you he's on
the same assignment I am.

2093
00:32:00,934 --> 00:32:02,936
No, Peter.

2094
00:32:03,002 --> 00:32:05,439
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2095
00:32:05,505 --> 00:32:07,874
I guarantee you
he's coming in here

2096
00:32:07,941 --> 00:32:08,808
to capture us.

2097
00:32:08,875 --> 00:32:11,177
Baloney. He came here
to get Anna.

2098
00:32:12,245 --> 00:32:13,246
Anna?

2099
00:32:13,312 --> 00:32:14,748
Yes! She's asleep
in there.

2100
00:32:14,814 --> 00:32:16,249
She has been
all the time!

2101
00:32:16,315 --> 00:32:17,817
How come?

2102
00:32:17,884 --> 00:32:19,719
Because she refuses
to go back to Igor

2103
00:32:19,786 --> 00:32:21,220
unless he promises
to marry her.

2104
00:32:21,287 --> 00:32:22,388
That's how come.

2105
00:32:22,456 --> 00:32:23,923
Better yet!

2106
00:32:23,990 --> 00:32:25,224
Peter!

2107
00:32:25,291 --> 00:32:26,560
Shh, shh, shh!

2108
00:32:34,100 --> 00:32:36,470
This is working out
better than I thought.

2109
00:32:36,536 --> 00:32:37,913
Now we only have one
to worry about.

2110
00:32:37,937 --> 00:32:40,173
Look, are you sure you
know what you're doing?

2111
00:32:40,239 --> 00:32:41,441
I know exactly
what I'm doing.

2112
00:32:41,508 --> 00:32:43,042
I'm doing exactly
what any man

2113
00:32:43,109 --> 00:32:44,978
in my position
of responsibility would do.

2114
00:32:45,044 --> 00:32:46,846
Now, wait a minute!

2115
00:32:46,913 --> 00:32:49,282
Igor saved your life
2 days ago, remember?

2116
00:32:49,348 --> 00:32:51,217
Yeah, and I'm gonna
save it again today.

2117
00:32:51,284 --> 00:32:52,452
Now mind your business.

2118
00:32:52,519 --> 00:32:53,953
Come in!

2119
00:32:54,020 --> 00:32:55,922
Oh, Peter, ha ha!

2120
00:32:55,989 --> 00:32:57,223
It's Igor, open up!

2121
00:32:57,290 --> 00:32:58,424
The lock, silly!

2122
00:32:58,492 --> 00:32:59,926
Come in.

2123
00:33:05,098 --> 00:33:07,501
Peter!

2124
00:33:11,905 --> 00:33:13,439
They're strong.

2125
00:33:19,345 --> 00:33:20,880
Ooh.

2126
00:33:23,082 --> 00:33:24,117
Keep your eye
on him.

2127
00:33:24,183 --> 00:33:25,585
Just watch him.

2128
00:33:25,652 --> 00:33:27,854
They're very strong,
I'm telling ya.

2129
00:33:27,921 --> 00:33:29,623
Tie his feet.

2130
00:33:32,291 --> 00:33:33,291
Uhh.

2131
00:33:33,326 --> 00:33:35,495
Ohh!

2132
00:33:35,562 --> 00:33:38,031
Why did you have to
hit him so hard, Peter?

2133
00:33:38,097 --> 00:33:40,009
What'd you want me to do,
stand here and box with him?

2134
00:33:40,033 --> 00:33:42,101
He's got at least
50 pounds on me.

2135
00:33:42,168 --> 00:33:45,605
Will you stop stalling
at get howling bull for me?

2136
00:33:45,672 --> 00:33:47,273
Come on, Eileen.
Hurry up.

2137
00:33:47,340 --> 00:33:48,775
All right!

2138
00:33:48,842 --> 00:33:51,477
Just put
the call through.

2139
00:33:54,814 --> 00:33:57,283
Moon station calling.
Moon station calling.

2140
00:33:57,350 --> 00:33:59,328
This is
the space center operator.

2141
00:33:59,352 --> 00:34:00,720
Would you get me
general Hallenby

2142
00:34:00,787 --> 00:34:01,921
in Washington, please?

2143
00:34:01,988 --> 00:34:03,089
Right away.

2144
00:34:03,156 --> 00:34:05,458
One moment, please.
I'll connect you.

2145
00:34:05,525 --> 00:34:07,360
Thank you.

2146
00:34:07,426 --> 00:34:08,562
Peter...

2147
00:34:08,628 --> 00:34:10,263
Would you hurry up?

2148
00:34:10,329 --> 00:34:11,631
They're getting
howling bull.

2149
00:34:11,698 --> 00:34:13,399
I mean general Hallenby.
Come on.

2150
00:34:13,466 --> 00:34:15,234
All right.

2151
00:34:20,540 --> 00:34:23,342
Well, what is it now,
Mattemore?

2152
00:34:23,409 --> 00:34:24,778
Oh, uh,
mission accomplished, sir.

2153
00:34:24,844 --> 00:34:25,912
I've secured the moon.

2154
00:34:25,979 --> 00:34:29,448
What in the hell
are you talking about?

2155
00:34:29,515 --> 00:34:30,850
Well, speak up,
will you?

2156
00:34:30,917 --> 00:34:32,986
I'm fixin' to go
to palm Springs.

2157
00:34:33,052 --> 00:34:34,721
Palm Springs, sir?

2158
00:34:34,788 --> 00:34:35,898
Oh, is that
where you're going

2159
00:34:35,922 --> 00:34:37,591
to direct
the hostilities from?

2160
00:34:37,657 --> 00:34:38,725
Hostilities?

2161
00:34:38,792 --> 00:34:39,893
I'm going down there
to play

2162
00:34:39,959 --> 00:34:41,360
in the invitational
golf tournament.

2163
00:34:41,427 --> 00:34:44,330
Golf tournament?

2164
00:34:44,397 --> 00:34:46,600
Well, so what happened
to the crisis?

2165
00:34:46,666 --> 00:34:48,602
What crisis?

2166
00:34:48,668 --> 00:34:50,937
Oh, that crisis.

2167
00:34:51,004 --> 00:34:53,573
Well, that's been
all cleared up.

2168
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:55,942
Oh, you mean the Russians
that were in there,

2169
00:34:56,009 --> 00:34:57,577
they got out
wherever they were.

2170
00:34:57,644 --> 00:34:59,613
Uh, turned out

2171
00:34:59,679 --> 00:35:01,180
they didn't have
to get out of there.

2172
00:35:01,247 --> 00:35:04,450
They were all members
of the Russian peace corps.

2173
00:35:04,517 --> 00:35:05,652
That's funny.

2174
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:07,621
I never knew the Russians
had a peace corps.

2175
00:35:07,687 --> 00:35:09,255
Heh heh heh.

2176
00:35:09,322 --> 00:35:10,456
Yeah.

2177
00:35:10,523 --> 00:35:12,358
That makes two of us, sir.

2178
00:35:12,425 --> 00:35:13,502
I didn't...
I didn't know, either,

2179
00:35:13,526 --> 00:35:15,061
but while we're
on the subject, sir,

2180
00:35:15,128 --> 00:35:16,195
may I ask,

2181
00:35:16,262 --> 00:35:18,142
what would you like me to do
with the prisoners?

2182
00:35:20,033 --> 00:35:21,267
What prisoners?

2183
00:35:23,102 --> 00:35:26,305
Well, I have this one Russian
tied up over here,

2184
00:35:26,372 --> 00:35:29,408
and I have the other one
locked in the bedroom.

2185
00:35:29,475 --> 00:35:32,511
You are kidding,
aren't you Mattemore?

2186
00:35:32,578 --> 00:35:34,413
Uh, no, sir.

2187
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:35,849
Uh, you see
this one Russian

2188
00:35:35,915 --> 00:35:37,550
outweighed me
at least 50 pounds,

2189
00:35:37,617 --> 00:35:38,551
and I thought
he was coming over...

2190
00:35:38,618 --> 00:35:39,986
You moron!

2191
00:35:40,053 --> 00:35:41,287
You damn idiot!

2192
00:35:42,956 --> 00:35:44,891
Well, no one called me, sir.

2193
00:35:44,958 --> 00:35:47,126
Don't you think I got
anything better to do

2194
00:35:47,193 --> 00:35:50,429
than call up the moon
every 5 minutes?

2195
00:35:50,496 --> 00:35:52,999
You realize
what you've done, sir?

2196
00:35:53,066 --> 00:35:55,835
Out of one crisis,
into another one.

2197
00:35:55,902 --> 00:35:57,536
You get me the president
right away

2198
00:35:57,603 --> 00:35:58,672
on my private channel.

2199
00:35:58,738 --> 00:36:00,073
Tell him to standby
on the hotline

2200
00:36:00,139 --> 00:36:01,074
to the Kremlin.

2201
00:36:01,140 --> 00:36:02,208
It's idiots like you

2202
00:36:02,275 --> 00:36:04,443
that get us into trouble
jumping into conclusions.

2203
00:36:04,510 --> 00:36:06,145
Well, sir,
no one called me, and...

2204
00:36:06,212 --> 00:36:07,080
You shut up!

2205
00:36:07,146 --> 00:36:08,314
I'm gonna deal
with you later.

2206
00:36:09,849 --> 00:36:10,984
Now, what...

2207
00:36:11,050 --> 00:36:12,819
Hell is wrong?

2208
00:36:12,886 --> 00:36:14,487
What in the hell
is going on?

2209
00:36:14,553 --> 00:36:16,555
You pushed
the wrong button, sir.

2210
00:36:16,622 --> 00:36:18,157
Well, get that off!
Get it off!

2211
00:36:18,224 --> 00:36:21,627
I've seen that lousy
movie a hundred times.

2212
00:36:23,196 --> 00:36:25,364
There goes
that damn fool Indian

2213
00:36:25,431 --> 00:36:27,633
falling off
his horse again.

2214
00:36:30,069 --> 00:36:32,005
Would you do me a favor
and don't argue with me?

2215
00:36:32,071 --> 00:36:33,840
Just don't argue
with me, just help me.

2216
00:36:33,907 --> 00:36:35,474
Would you just help me,
please?

2217
00:36:35,541 --> 00:36:37,043
I'm sorry.
I'm...

2218
00:36:37,110 --> 00:36:39,145
I'm sure glad I didn't
call my mother.

2219
00:36:39,212 --> 00:36:41,414
Uh. Uh.

2220
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:42,648
Hurry up.

2221
00:36:42,716 --> 00:36:44,684
You just think of
something to tell Igor

2222
00:36:44,751 --> 00:36:46,185
when he comes to.

2223
00:36:46,252 --> 00:36:47,186
Okay.

2224
00:36:48,354 --> 00:36:49,923
I better check.

2225
00:36:56,830 --> 00:36:58,497
Sleepin' like a baby.

2226
00:37:00,566 --> 00:37:01,567
Igor, you all right?

2227
00:37:01,634 --> 00:37:02,568
Igor.

2228
00:37:03,737 --> 00:37:05,371
Igor, you all right?
Take it easy.

2229
00:37:05,438 --> 00:37:06,439
We'll take care
of you.

2230
00:37:06,505 --> 00:37:08,107
What happened?
What happened?

2231
00:37:08,174 --> 00:37:10,343
Uh, you slipped coming
to the door.

2232
00:37:10,409 --> 00:37:11,409
Ohh.
You slipped.

2233
00:37:11,444 --> 00:37:12,578
You see,
when you were...

2234
00:37:12,645 --> 00:37:13,780
You came
to the door...

2235
00:37:13,847 --> 00:37:15,081
Hyah!
Ooh!

2236
00:37:15,148 --> 00:37:16,182
Where's Anna?

2237
00:37:16,249 --> 00:37:17,516
Oh, uh, she's in bed.

2238
00:37:17,583 --> 00:37:18,863
She's asleep...
In the next room.

2239
00:37:18,918 --> 00:37:20,162
Yeah, she's in
the next room asleep.

2240
00:37:20,186 --> 00:37:21,721
Bed.

2241
00:37:21,788 --> 00:37:22,788
Easy, Igor.

2242
00:37:22,822 --> 00:37:23,957
Just relax.

2243
00:37:24,023 --> 00:37:24,958
Igor?
Just relax.

2244
00:37:25,024 --> 00:37:26,259
Uh, Igor?

2245
00:37:26,325 --> 00:37:27,393
Easy!
Igor!

2246
00:37:27,460 --> 00:37:29,695
Igor! Easy.

2247
00:37:41,741 --> 00:37:43,709
Anushka?

2248
00:37:46,545 --> 00:37:48,982
Anushka?

2249
00:37:56,055 --> 00:37:58,357
Anushka.

2250
00:38:00,159 --> 00:38:01,527
Ohh.

2251
00:38:01,594 --> 00:38:03,797
Anushka.

2252
00:38:16,175 --> 00:38:17,777
Ohh, Igor.

2253
00:38:17,844 --> 00:38:19,545
Oh, Anushka.

2254
00:38:19,612 --> 00:38:21,080
Have you come
to tell me

2255
00:38:21,147 --> 00:38:22,248
you're going
to marry me?

2256
00:38:24,617 --> 00:38:26,786
No, Anushka.

2257
00:38:26,853 --> 00:38:31,791
I come to give you love,
romance, and laughter.

2258
00:38:31,858 --> 00:38:34,760
Laughter. Ha ha ha.

2259
00:38:34,828 --> 00:38:36,395
But you have to.

2260
00:38:36,462 --> 00:38:38,464
Why, Anushka? Why?

2261
00:38:39,866 --> 00:38:41,835
I'm going to have
a baby.

2262
00:38:50,443 --> 00:38:52,378
No!

2263
00:38:59,785 --> 00:39:00,786
Premier Roskov

2264
00:39:00,854 --> 00:39:02,455
is asking miss Soblova
if she will take

2265
00:39:02,521 --> 00:39:04,657
Mr. Blakonakov to be her
lawfully wedded husband.

2266
00:39:04,723 --> 00:39:05,723
Da.

2267
00:39:05,758 --> 00:39:06,759
She says she will.

2268
00:39:07,961 --> 00:39:10,596
Now premier Roskov
is asking Mr. Blakonakov

2269
00:39:10,663 --> 00:39:12,131
if he will take
miss Soblova

2270
00:39:12,198 --> 00:39:13,900
to be his lawfully
wedding wife,

2271
00:39:13,967 --> 00:39:15,902
and he says he will.

2272
00:39:15,969 --> 00:39:18,137
And I think I see
miss Soblova's mother.

2273
00:39:18,204 --> 00:39:20,106
She sees her daughter
getting married.

2274
00:39:20,173 --> 00:39:23,009
And miss Soblova's father

2275
00:39:23,076 --> 00:39:25,979
and the father's wife.

2276
00:39:38,657 --> 00:39:40,659
Now it looks like
the ceremony

2277
00:39:40,726 --> 00:39:42,228
is drawing
to a conclusion.

2278
00:39:42,295 --> 00:39:44,397
Mr. Blakonakov,
miss Soblova,

2279
00:39:44,463 --> 00:39:46,632
man and wife.

2280
00:39:47,967 --> 00:39:50,569
Mr. Blakonakov kisses
Mrs. Blakonakov.

2281
00:39:54,807 --> 00:39:57,210
Mrs. Mattemore kisses
Mrs. Blakonakov.

2282
00:40:04,417 --> 00:40:06,920
Now premier Roskov

2283
00:40:06,986 --> 00:40:09,722
is complementing
the young couple,

2284
00:40:09,788 --> 00:40:12,258
and he is boasting
that he is sure

2285
00:40:12,325 --> 00:40:13,893
that they
will very shortly

2286
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:15,995
give to the Russian
people a new glory...

2287
00:40:16,062 --> 00:40:20,666
The first baby born
on the moon.

2288
00:40:20,733 --> 00:40:24,237
This is another Russian
first, ladies and gentlemen.

2289
00:40:25,271 --> 00:40:27,840
But is this
just an idle boast?

2290
00:40:27,907 --> 00:40:29,976
Maybe I'm saying more
than I should,

2291
00:40:30,043 --> 00:40:31,978
maybe I shouldn't be
saying this on the air,

2292
00:40:32,045 --> 00:40:34,180
but it is my opinion,
considering the fact

2293
00:40:34,247 --> 00:40:36,415
that Mr. Blakonakov
and Mrs. Blakonakov

2294
00:40:36,482 --> 00:40:38,751
have been alone together
on the moon

2295
00:40:38,817 --> 00:40:40,453
for 3 months,

2296
00:40:40,519 --> 00:40:41,687
it is my opinion

2297
00:40:41,754 --> 00:40:45,624
that the young bride is
already several months...

2298
00:40:48,294 --> 00:40:50,163
This is Roger Carlisle
ending my series

2299
00:40:50,229 --> 00:40:51,597
of telecasts from Moscow

2300
00:40:51,664 --> 00:40:53,799
saying good-bye to B.C.B.

2301
00:41:02,208 --> 00:41:04,343
Oh, was
a lovely wedding.

2302
00:41:04,410 --> 00:41:05,410
Wasn't it?

2303
00:41:05,444 --> 00:41:07,180
Yeah, sure was.

2304
00:41:07,246 --> 00:41:09,515
Anna made
a beautiful bride, too.

2305
00:41:09,582 --> 00:41:10,816
Yeah.

2306
00:41:13,486 --> 00:41:14,620
I'll get it.

2307
00:41:14,687 --> 00:41:15,788
Okay.

2308
00:41:15,854 --> 00:41:18,924
It's probably, uh,
someone calling us.

2309
00:41:21,961 --> 00:41:24,663
Oh, I almost forgot
to press it.

2310
00:41:25,731 --> 00:41:28,901
Hello, kids.

2311
00:41:28,968 --> 00:41:31,337
Well, what's new,
Mattemore?

2312
00:41:31,404 --> 00:41:33,072
Oh, did you see
the wedding?

2313
00:41:33,139 --> 00:41:35,808
The whole world saw it.

2314
00:41:35,874 --> 00:41:38,244
I guess all those rumors
are true.

2315
00:41:38,311 --> 00:41:39,478
Oh, yeah.
They're true.

2316
00:41:39,545 --> 00:41:43,582
She's got about
a 2 month jump on us.

2317
00:41:43,649 --> 00:41:46,719
I guess there's nothing
you two can do about it.

2318
00:41:46,785 --> 00:41:48,988
Well, you know, uh...

2319
00:41:49,055 --> 00:41:50,489
Well, what I mean is...

2320
00:41:50,556 --> 00:41:53,559
Everybody in Washington
is pretty dejected.

2321
00:41:53,626 --> 00:41:56,829
Senator Astongrapple
cried on the floor

2322
00:41:56,895 --> 00:41:58,897
of the senate
this morning.

2323
00:41:58,964 --> 00:42:00,600
Nobody's blaming you,
of course, but...

2324
00:42:01,567 --> 00:42:02,735
But what?

2325
00:42:02,801 --> 00:42:03,736
Nothing.

2326
00:42:03,802 --> 00:42:05,238
But what?!

2327
00:42:05,304 --> 00:42:06,805
Well, even
if you had got off

2328
00:42:06,872 --> 00:42:08,174
to a level start
with them,

2329
00:42:08,241 --> 00:42:10,676
I don't suppose it would
have done you any good.

2330
00:42:12,478 --> 00:42:13,646
Why not?

2331
00:42:13,712 --> 00:42:16,082
Oh, come now,
Mattemore.

2332
00:42:16,149 --> 00:42:20,286
We all saw Blakonakov,
a vigorous, prancing,

2333
00:42:20,353 --> 00:42:23,722
snorting young stallion
if ever I saw one.

2334
00:42:23,789 --> 00:42:25,091
So what?

2335
00:42:25,158 --> 00:42:28,161
I'm not exactly
what you'd call unvigorous,

2336
00:42:28,227 --> 00:42:31,464
unsnorting,
or unprancing myself.

2337
00:42:31,530 --> 00:42:35,234
Mattemore,
alongside Blakonakov

2338
00:42:35,301 --> 00:42:37,370
you look like
a worn-out old man

2339
00:42:37,436 --> 00:42:39,538
who's made one too many
journeys to the well

2340
00:42:39,605 --> 00:42:42,241
and hasn't got the poop
to make it back again.

2341
00:42:42,308 --> 00:42:44,710
Not to mention
Mrs. Blakonakov.

2342
00:42:44,777 --> 00:42:45,878
No!

2343
00:42:45,944 --> 00:42:47,313
No, let's
mention her.

2344
00:42:47,380 --> 00:42:48,581
Say, what did
I look like

2345
00:42:48,647 --> 00:42:49,647
alongside of her,

2346
00:42:49,682 --> 00:42:50,449
somebody's
undersexed

2347
00:42:50,516 --> 00:42:51,417
kid brother or
something, huh?

2348
00:42:51,484 --> 00:42:53,419
Well, of course,
it isn't your fault

2349
00:42:53,486 --> 00:42:55,921
that these Russian girls
develop so startlingly

2350
00:42:55,988 --> 00:42:57,090
and so young.

2351
00:42:57,156 --> 00:42:58,991
Oh, wait a minute.

2352
00:42:59,058 --> 00:43:00,559
She's not all that
young, mister.

2353
00:43:00,626 --> 00:43:02,961
I'm not talking of her
age in years.

2354
00:43:03,028 --> 00:43:06,132
I'm talking of her warm,
young birthings.

2355
00:43:06,199 --> 00:43:08,201
Her warm,
young what?

2356
00:43:08,267 --> 00:43:10,203
Well, with a girl
like that, you see,

2357
00:43:10,269 --> 00:43:11,513
you've only got
to say "boo" to her

2358
00:43:11,537 --> 00:43:13,772
and she's already
2 months pregnant.

2359
00:43:14,973 --> 00:43:16,142
Oh, yeah?

2360
00:43:16,209 --> 00:43:17,649
Well, you just try
saying "boo" to me

2361
00:43:17,710 --> 00:43:18,710
and see
what happens.

2362
00:43:18,744 --> 00:43:20,646
I beg your pardon.

2363
00:43:23,149 --> 00:43:24,883
Because if you did,
you'd find

2364
00:43:24,950 --> 00:43:26,585
that I'm just as
pregnant as she is.

2365
00:43:26,652 --> 00:43:28,221
What did you say?

2366
00:43:28,287 --> 00:43:30,756
I said I'm just as
pregnant as she is.

2367
00:43:30,823 --> 00:43:32,825
But this
is wonderful news!

2368
00:43:32,891 --> 00:43:34,527
This is the most
fantastic news

2369
00:43:34,593 --> 00:43:35,661
I've ever heard!

2370
00:43:35,728 --> 00:43:38,897
This means it isn't another
Russian first after all.

2371
00:43:38,964 --> 00:43:40,299
I must get on the wire

2372
00:43:40,366 --> 00:43:42,468
to the president
right away.

2373
00:43:42,535 --> 00:43:44,503
I must get hold of all
the foreign correspondents

2374
00:43:44,570 --> 00:43:45,738
and...

2375
00:43:45,804 --> 00:43:47,740
Just a moment.

2376
00:43:47,806 --> 00:43:49,142
How could you be?

2377
00:43:49,208 --> 00:43:51,277
You've only been
married 5 days.

2378
00:43:51,344 --> 00:43:52,878
What do you care
how I am?

2379
00:43:52,945 --> 00:43:54,813
I am!

2380
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,250
Oh, you wonderful girl.

2381
00:43:57,316 --> 00:43:59,252
I'll get back to you
right away.

2382
00:43:59,318 --> 00:44:02,388
Just now I've got
a million things to do.

2383
00:44:08,026 --> 00:44:09,895
What's going on
down there, Quonset?

2384
00:44:09,962 --> 00:44:12,565
I pressed
the wrong button.

2385
00:44:12,631 --> 00:44:16,302
It's that movie that's been
on channel 9 all this week.

2386
00:44:16,369 --> 00:44:20,072
Now he's gonna fall off
his horse again.

2387
00:44:23,542 --> 00:44:26,579
It's, uh...
Kind of exciting.

2388
00:44:26,645 --> 00:44:28,447
I mean... I mean, uh...

2389
00:44:28,514 --> 00:44:30,816
You know, when I...
When I think of...

2390
00:44:30,883 --> 00:44:32,851
I gotta get cigars.

2391
00:44:32,918 --> 00:44:35,188
So I... you know, to hand them
out to everybody.

2392
00:44:35,254 --> 00:44:37,055
Where do you go here
for cigars?

2393
00:44:37,122 --> 00:44:39,792
Th... uh, you know,
handing out.

2394
00:44:39,858 --> 00:44:42,228
Congratu...
Hey, you had a...

2395
00:44:42,295 --> 00:44:43,362
What's the matter?

2396
00:44:43,429 --> 00:44:46,064
What are you talking
about?

2397
00:44:46,131 --> 00:44:47,466
Huh?

2398
00:44:47,533 --> 00:44:50,436
What are you talking
about?

2399
00:44:50,503 --> 00:44:52,638
I'm talking about
what you were talking about.

2400
00:44:52,705 --> 00:44:54,507
I mean, the first thing,
you know,

2401
00:44:54,573 --> 00:44:57,910
when a man is proud,
you, uh... oh, you...

2402
00:44:57,976 --> 00:45:01,580
Oh, you're not
like you said?

2403
00:45:01,647 --> 00:45:04,483
Heh. I was teasing.
I know that.

2404
00:45:04,550 --> 00:45:07,820
I... I knew...
I knew you, uh.

2405
00:45:07,886 --> 00:45:11,724
When you were...

2406
00:45:11,790 --> 00:45:14,627
What did you hope
to accomplish by lying to him?

2407
00:45:14,693 --> 00:45:16,795
I wasn't lying.

2408
00:45:16,862 --> 00:45:20,098
You said you were
as pregnant as Anna is.

2409
00:45:20,165 --> 00:45:22,301
I am as pregnant
as Anna.

2410
00:45:22,368 --> 00:45:24,145
Well, then I'll get
a ball and a bat and a glove.

2411
00:45:24,169 --> 00:45:25,170
I can even make...

2412
00:45:25,238 --> 00:45:26,705
'Cause Anna
isn't pregnant.

2413
00:45:26,772 --> 00:45:28,874
I don't need a ball,
a bat, or a glove then.

2414
00:45:28,941 --> 00:45:33,246
She only told Igor that
to make him marry her.

2415
00:45:33,312 --> 00:45:34,913
And if you must
know the truth,

2416
00:45:34,980 --> 00:45:36,014
it was my idea.

2417
00:45:36,081 --> 00:45:38,217
Good thinking.

2418
00:45:38,284 --> 00:45:40,653
Wait a minute.

2419
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,188
When you told Quonset
what you told him,

2420
00:45:43,256 --> 00:45:45,176
Quonset and everybody else
is gotta think you are

2421
00:45:45,224 --> 00:45:46,625
like you said.

2422
00:45:46,692 --> 00:45:47,626
Peter.

2423
00:45:47,693 --> 00:45:48,627
Huh?

2424
00:45:48,694 --> 00:45:52,164
We have 12 days
of night left.

2425
00:45:52,231 --> 00:45:53,799
So?

2426
00:45:53,866 --> 00:45:56,369
So...

2427
00:45:56,435 --> 00:45:58,637
You wouldn't wanna make
a liar out of me now,

2428
00:45:58,704 --> 00:46:00,773
would you?

2429
00:46:00,839 --> 00:46:02,107
Heh.

2430
00:46:02,174 --> 00:46:03,175
Heh, no.

2431
00:46:06,312 --> 00:46:08,847
This is
the space center operator.

2432
00:46:08,914 --> 00:46:11,750
I have Mr. Quonset calling
the moon station.

2433
00:46:11,817 --> 00:46:14,119
Mr. Quonset calling.

2434
00:46:14,186 --> 00:46:16,689
Mr. Quonset calling.

2435
00:46:16,755 --> 00:46:18,791
Mr. Quonset calling.

2436
00:46:18,857 --> 00:46:21,226
Mr. Quonset calling.

2437
00:46:21,294 --> 00:46:22,961
Mr. Quonset calling.

2438
00:46:24,229 --> 00:46:26,064
Mr. Quonset calling.

2439
00:46:26,131 --> 00:46:28,334
Mr. Quonset calling.

2440
00:46:28,401 --> 00:46:29,802
Mr. Quonset calling.

2441
00:46:29,868 --> 00:46:32,971
* 10, 9 *

2442
00:46:33,038 --> 00:46:35,274
* 8, 7, 6 *

2443
00:46:35,341 --> 00:46:36,709
* 5, 4, 3 *

2444
00:46:36,775 --> 00:46:38,811
* 2, 1 *

2445
00:46:38,877 --> 00:46:40,613
* you're gonna take
a trip, girl *

2446
00:46:40,679 --> 00:46:43,816
* so slip into something
slinky and smooth *

2447
00:46:43,882 --> 00:46:45,318
* way, way out *

2448
00:46:45,384 --> 00:46:46,495
* just wave the world
good-bye *

2449
00:46:46,519 --> 00:46:47,820
* let's fly *

2450
00:46:47,886 --> 00:46:50,155
*'cause, girl, I got
a whole lot to prove *

2451
00:46:50,222 --> 00:46:51,390
* way, way out *

2452
00:46:51,457 --> 00:46:52,858
* I need to show you *

2453
00:46:52,925 --> 00:46:56,329
* I know you and me were meant
to go the whole route *

2454
00:46:56,395 --> 00:46:57,730
* way, way out *

2455
00:46:57,796 --> 00:46:59,598
* and if you stick
with me, girl *

2456
00:46:59,665 --> 00:47:02,935
* you'll see what the game
of love's all about *

2457
00:47:03,001 --> 00:47:04,637
* way, way up *

2458
00:47:04,703 --> 00:47:07,906
* we're gonna take a trip
in outer space *

2459
00:47:07,973 --> 00:47:10,409
* fly now
and we'll pay later, girl *

2460
00:47:10,476 --> 00:47:12,044
* come and go with me *

2461
00:47:12,110 --> 00:47:15,213
* and you'll see what the game
of love's all about *

2462
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:17,049
* it's way, way out *

2463
00:47:17,115 --> 00:47:19,051
* way, way out *

2464
00:47:19,117 --> 00:47:20,519
* way, way out *

2465
00:47:20,586 --> 00:47:22,621
* way, way out **